They say it’s hard to make friends in your 30s. I say they’re not looking in the right places.
Yesterday afternoon, I sat on a remarkably comfortable blue couch and an incredible friend that I made in my 30s sat on the matching loveseat to my right. She’s getting married in July. If you know me, you know that I’m not a marriage/traditions kind of person for myself, but I get it. I’m along for the party.
After her fiancé came back from 7-11 (thanks for the seltzer!), at some point, the topic of wedding vows came up. Spoiler alert: They are not writing their own. Intuitive secret alert: I think my friend wants to write her own. But I’m not one to meddle…
I joked that I would write them some vows. I joked that I would include specific video game playing and watching etiquette in said vows. Jokes aside (are jokes ever aside for me?), I’m laying down some vows for love in general here. Feel free to use them but always give me credit. Plagiarism causes wrinkles.
…to be weird, silly or sad as the moment strikes and to feel supported in each striking moment.
…to recognize that it’s damn near impossible to get everything from one person. There are over 7 billion people on the planet and probably billions more with us in spirit. It’s ok to connect with others (see next vow).
…to communicate openly, clearly and reasonably about connecting with others. Straight talk makes for straight understanding. The trust is in the communication and the action.
…to balance needs, to support desires, to hold space for the dreams, goals, and projects of the other, even if said needs, goals, etc. seem weird. As long as no one is harmed in the process, let him/her shine.
…to find strength in each other, to be even better together without abandoning everything you are as an individual, if that’s something you value (not that you asked me, but you should value yourself as an individual).
…to honor that growth, change and evolution are likely and should be celebrated.
This vow stuff is easier than I thought— perhaps because I have clearly-defined views on my sense of self and myself in a relationship. Bunny-daddy and I just celebrated our 8th Valentine’s Day. Our relationship certainly isn’t for everyone. But it’s for me. I’ve changed a lot over the course of 8 Valentine’s Day. I feel 100% supported in each change… and that’s a vow I treasure.