I wrote to you weekly for 6 years. I skipped maybe a handful of weeks scattered over those years, but since Believe in Bunnies launched, I sat faithfully at my keyboard on Sunday mornings to share a tale of rabbit rescue, or my spiritual journey, or walking alongside another being’s journey. My consistency wavered this past year; it’s been an effort to assure myself that it’s okay. I needed to get quiet a whole bunch… and I’m darn proud of myself for slowing down.
I make a point each day to listen to something from my teacher Gabby Bernstein. I play recordings of her lectures and workshops as I fold laundry, I run her YouTube videos in another tab as I answer emails, and I stop everything to tune into “Dear Gabby,” her Instagram-Live-turned-podcast show, when it’s on. While attending to some Rescue work last week, I was listening to a talk that I’d likely listened to before… but this time, a section jumped out at me. I ran it back thrice. I grabbed a pencil and scribbled down Gabby’s words as she gave voice to what I’d been feeling, or more accurately suppressing, for decades:
“I was walking around in a story of ‘If I am not productive, I am not alive’… it may be the key to any success I’ve experienced to date because I was moving and moving and going and going and multitasking and making things happen, but it can no longer be sustainable. It’s not the vibration I want to be in… My new mantra: Everything is happening around me and I am fully taken care of.”
I was off from work (if you’re new here, I teach high school English) this week. Historically, I’d pack these weeks off with 750 classes, talks, appointments, expectations of myself… and go back to work still needing a vacation! Fellow teachers are nodding along with that sentence. This week, I tried something radically uncomfortable– I scheduled nothing. Well, almost nothing. I had a Reiki session with my healer Lisa and a session with a one-on-one coaching client. But that was it for appointments and commitments. Outside of those two scheduled hours, I set my intention for the week off to be present and cultivate peace. I set daily goals of movement, either a workout or a virtual yoga class, mindful eating, and reading.
Simple, right? On the outside, sure… on the inside, a challenge… as I’d been living the feeling of “If I am not productive, I am not alive” consciously and subconsciously FOREVER. Even in elementary school, I couldn’t just play with my friends; I had to organize, plan, structure. I’ll stop here on this thread before we head into a deep-dive of habits and paradigms. Today, I just want to be here.
Over this past week, there were moments of difficulty and moments of flow. I’m leaning heavily on my new (borrowed) mantra that “Everything is happening around me and I am fully taken care of.” Nothing fell apart this week. Lessons and classes will flow just fine when the bells start ringing tomorrow, even though I did minimal school work over break. I tell the students that break means break– I deserve that too! I’ll get to the dermatologist soon for that annual body scan. Oh, and Rescue work… my goodness, have we formed an unstoppable team. I’ll have to tell you soon, dear readers, about the records we broke in 2020! I used to tell myself that I had to do it all or it wouldn’t get done; that couldn’t be further from the truth now (thank you K and S).
The long and short of it… I’m happy to be back at the blog helm and even happier that I gave myself a break… and more breaks to come. It’s all about intention and vibe over here, no longer pushing to produce just because. Look at me… learning to chill. It’s kinda wild, what comes so simply to some can be an epic journey for others. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some actual relaxing to do. Much love.