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Throwback: Gifts

As we roll rapidly into the gift-giving season, allow me to share with you a vintage story from December 2016 titled “Gifts.”

I love giving gifts. I guess that’s my “love language,” if you subscribe to that philosophy (remember, vintage “RHOC” with Vicki talking love languages…). It’s not a materialistic thing; it’s a symbolic gesture. I love giving gifts for no particular occasion, other than “I saw this and it made me think of you.” That said, my gift giving nature was tested this holiday season. I blame the combination of the upside-down surreal 2016 and the fact that we recently moved (as I write this, there are boxes and piles of I don’t know what to my right). I couldn’t get a handle on time and getting the mountain of tasks done these past few weeks. I always take on a lot, so that’s not the problem. But I think I undervalued the magnitude of moving and just how much mental effort and physical time it would take. Again, the curse of the achiever kicked it.

I got a handle on the gifts this year in three parts: one part obsessive organization, one part miracle, and one part best friend came down from Albany and finished all that was left undone. Far more quickly than they were selected, purchased, wrapped and arranged, the gifts were given and floated out of my existence (except for those given to the Bunny-daddy, of course). For those of us who take a certain kind of value in gift-giving, the exchange is the true gift. It’s the gesture of it all. It’s not the monetary value. It’s not given for a subsequent lauding. It’s the moment. It’s the look on the receiver’s face, often times a laugh, maybe even a happy tear or two. It’s the hug and/or the thank you card.

I love to give gifts because of the feeling in the moment. And I love to receive them for much the same reason. I don’t like clutter (again, it’s fairy difficult to stay focused writing this because there’s an utter mess to my right!) and sometimes gifts of a particular nature become clutter in my rigid world. But I will always love the gesture and the symbolism of gifting and that supersedes the clutter.

I have a lot of gifts, as in abilities. I use them, I share them and I proudly kick ass with them. I gave a lot of gifts over the past few days, although with the typical holiday whirlwind combined with 2016’s wrath, I don’t know if I let myself feel the moment enough! Again, putting pressure on myself… that’s a trait that I need to hone into a gift. And if history’s any teacher, I can make that happen.

Fans, friends, loves… I must go tackle the piles of stuff, some gifts and some not. Enjoy the magic of giving. Much love.

December 15, 2019

Mother’s Day Tribute

Hoppy Mother’s Day! Enjoy this classic Mother’s Day story from the Believe In Bunnies archives…

My mother never let me have pets other than betta fish. My betta Bonus lived 5 or 6 years and traveled back and forth from Connecticut to home on every college break. I was never much of an animal person anyway. After college, but still living home, I asked if I could get a rabbit. For no known reason, I decided I wanted one. Mom said no. She said, when you have your own house, you can have whatever you want.

I never, and I mean never, have wanted human children. When certain people hear that, they flick back with trite retorts like, “You will someday” and “You’ll change your mind when you’re with the right person.” Mmm hmmmm. Socrates said, “Know thyself” and I always have when it comes to this topic. And I know human children are not for me. When I met my “right person,” it was maybe our second or third date when the topic of pet rabbits came up. We both wanted one yet never had one. So, in my own way I guess, I did become a mother when I met the right person.

To me, being a mom or serving in any loving role is about spiritual connection. The labels of mother, father, grandchild, uncle, what-have-you are all human constructs. On the level of the soul, in our truth, the labels don’t exist. Love is love. Care is care. Compassion is compassion. Connection is connection.

Judge all you want, but my love for my boys Peanut and Tater Tot and the love I see my fellow bunny moms, dads and volunteers give to these four-legged angels is the truth. If you need to label it, the connection is as maternal or paternal as a human-human relationship. Just like I don’t have the desire for human children, not everyone with a pet wants or will reach or can reach the connection. Those are the people who indiscriminately or circumstantially give up their pets. But that’s a topic for another day.

So Mom, thank you for not letting me have a rabbit when I wasn’t ready. You are a phenomenal mother (obviously, look at what you made!) and you knew yourself and knew me enough to know that pet-parenting was not appropriate at that time. When the time was right and I became a bunny-mom, you embraced your grandbunnies more than I even expected, since you aren’t necessarily an animal person. But I know you admire and respect the love I have for my boys and the compassion I channel for all of Long Island’s domestic rabbits through rescue work.

Happy Mother’s Day, whether your children hop, bark, talk… whether they live with you, live with another family, live in a rescue or shelter… they are your children, if you feel the love and connection in your soul.

Special shout out to the foster moms out there—you are love.

May 12, 2019

angels Energy Purpose

I call her my godmother but she didn’t hold me as a baby while a priest blessed me. There’s just no better term that I’m familiar with to explain who she is to me. So, almost 10 years ago, I asked Kathy to be my godmother (with all due respect to the one my parents chose for me in 1982) and Kathy immediately said yes—makes sense, because she’d been assuming the role for a while and will be forever.

I met Kathy’s oldest son when I was in 7^th grade. He was one of the cool, older boys that was friends with my temporary best friend’s older brother. We hung out in similar circles throughout junior high and high school, peripherally acquainted. After I graduated college and moved back to New York, he and I started hanging out a lot. I met his mom and his younger brother. The bond those three have… it’s hard to put words to. They are love. They are family. And they scoop you right into the family.

I’ve spent many, many hours sitting at their kitchen table. We have inside jokes that have been running for almost two decades, clipped from little moments of joy, often with cards or Scrabble tiles in our hands.

When I was betrayed by a “friend,” I ran to her. When my heart was stomped on, I leaned on her. And I know there are dozens of people who can share similar stories about Kathy. As special as she makes me feel, I’m not “special”—she cares for everyone she meets this deeply. Just don’t do wrong by one of her sons!

Last night, we sat around that white and light wood kitchen table and laughed until our bellies hurt. That’s pretty much a guarantee when we get together. Outside of my immediate blood-related family, I can’t think of any other people as loving and loyal as Kathy and her sons. I’m glad they inherited that from her. I’m grateful for all of the love she continues to pour into our connection and, of course, to the universe for sending my godmother (and her family) to me.

Who’s your Kathy? Call her/him today or connect with them in some way. Share your gratitude. Much love.

April 28, 2019

Believe Bunnies Energy Healing Purpose Reiki Rescue Uncategorized

Friends? Friends.

It wasn’t that long ago when I had no friends. I can remember the first time I said it out loud. It felt… shameful. It felt embarrassing, even though I was saying it to the Bunny Daddy, a man I can say anything to, without judgment.

Yeah, there were people around… but I felt alone. That theme wove itself through my story over the years. I would do anything to pull in anyone, nice and close, trying to fight the feeling of loneliness… desperately trying to find acceptance.

I can look back and realize that there was no way I was going to find authentic friendships when I wasn’t being authentic with myself.

The turning point came right around the time when I said it out loud: I have no friends. That also came in a tornado of being miserable at work and having no hobbies, pastimes or things to do that brought me joy. At all. I was a literal ball of tears on our living room floor.

I cracked open and let the light flood in. I took steps, small at first, to find a sense of peace in my head. I started volunteering, not to fill the time, not even for a second considering that I would make friends that way—just volunteering to help a little rescue group with a big mission. I found that my weekly volunteer hours were times where my anxious feelings were non-existent. I found a place to let my gifts (organization being one) shine.

I started listening to myself more, giving myself that permission and honing that skill through holistic and “alternative” routes like Reiki, yoga, therapy… getting down to it. Facing and embracing what made me feel good, great and beyond. Dropping the need to fit in, to live someone else’s dream, to fit an image that felt suffocating.

As I listened to and “found” me, some darn wonderful people started to show up. I often say to them, when they compliment my growth and my courage, that I am merely a reflection of them. And I mean that they can only see and love this light in me because it is a light that shines in them too.

Last night, I celebrated by 37^th birthday. The girl who had no friends is now the woman who was surrounded by 16 women, each blazing their own gorgeous, inspiring trail. I know they love me. Despite the size of the group surrounding me over the years or the length of time we were “friends,” I never knew that for sure before. But these women… they love me. And I love me.

A big cheers to the rest of the crew who couldn’t join us last night… I am utterly amazed by the quantity and the quality of friends that are in my life—all because I took (and still take) the time to find my joy and purpose. Much love.

March 31, 2019

Believe Purpose

Celebrating 41 Years

You would think that the little girl from the picture-perfect family would want to be a grown-up married woman. Marriage has never been a dream of mine, in the official sense. Yes, loyal readers, you know there’s a Bunny-Daddy and it’s a solid union… we just aren’t the paperwork type. That said, I attribute much of who I am and what I do to what I’ve learned from my parents’ marriage.

Tomorrow, my parents celebrate 41 years married. They “tied the knot” on my father’s 22^nd birthday. 43 years together, 41 years married… they are the best of friends. I consider them my greatest teachers, as individuals and as a union.

The biggest lesson I take from my parents’ partnership is one of independence and support. To my knowledge, one has never stopped the other from doing something or going somewhere or buying something. They enrich each other. They have each other’s back, always. I’m sure they’ve made sacrifices for each other and there have undoubtedly been compromises over the span of four decades.

Even in moments of discontent, there is always kindness and respect. I have never heard one call the other an unkind name. This is no “Brady Bunch” moment; it’s just what they’ve shown me is love. It’s the standard I learned to set for myself from watching and absorbing their example. I do acknowledge that I lack my mother’s patience and fairness, but she’s a Libra and the oldest of four children; I’m an Aries and an only child!

Last week, they came over to hang some art and a bulletin board in the room in which I sit as I write this to you. To watch them work together is kind of magical. They are a true team. They just make sense together. Like the kids say, they are relationship goals. Four decades and they still enjoy each other’s company. Four decades and they laugh more together than any other couple I know.

My mother will tell you that it takes work every single day. If you stop working, it’s over. If you ever have the honor to witness just how truly happy they are, how each other’s company truly uplifts them, I can tell you that the work has been worth it for them. The respect they have for themselves and for each other is what I attribute my independence to. I know that, with or without a partner, I am capable of absolutely anything. While they’ve had each other since they were practically children, my mother 2 months shy of 20 when they married, they are two individuals who make a pair, not two halves that create whole.

They lift each other up. They are a force when they’re together. Happy 41^st Anniversary, Mom and Dad.

August 20, 2018

Believe Bunnies Purpose Rescue

Going Back In

In four days, I’m going back. I’ll sit in a blue and teal chair on an hour long trip to the greatest city in the world (arguably, of course, but that’s what we’ve told to call it). I’ll walk several blocks, check in to my hotel, and head to the SVA Theater. There, I’ll sit in a red upholstered chair and soak it all in, taking copious notes over the course of our three days together. Yes, this weekend is Spirit Junkie Masterclass.

As I look over my nearly 40 pages of notes from last year’s class, I see a beautiful parallel between my teacher’s “Steps to Stepping into the Fear” and the experience with and lessons from our rescued rabbits. I’ll list Gabrielle’s steps below and annotate my rescue musings. My rescue colleagues reading this can nod along…

Honor your wounds.

These abandoned, neglected and abused rabbits did NOTHING to deserve the treatment they got (or didn’t get) before they came into our care. We celebrate, love and care for their backgrounds. We work tirelessly to ensure they will never be wounded again.

Stop trying to outrun fear.

Dear ones, let us bring you to safety. We are the good ones. I promise. The only thing you have to fear now is the Shop Vac cleaning your enclosure.

Show up for your assignment.

Once they are “ours,” these rescued rabbits have a big job. They are tasked with completing families. That said, it is NEVER their assignment to teach children responsibility–that’s the job of human adults. But it is their job to soak in all the love. I’m smiling so big, thinking of all the ways my boys have been there for me over the past 6.5 years, showing up for their assignment.

Build new momentum to create confidence.

With this step, I’m thinking of the shy ones. The scared ones. I’m thinking right now of Aspen. She was rescued last year, and shortly after, gave birth to 8 babies. Aspen is the softest and was the shiest rabbit I’ve ever met. In a series of foster homes she wanted nothing but to hide. And then… she moved in with a new foster family, where she’s an only rabbit, and her personality is shining! She’s flopping, she’s running and she’s posing for pictures with sass! She’s come into her own, created that confidence. It’s incredible what a change of surroundings can do.

Affirm what you want to feel and who you really are.

Oh, these rabbits have personality. I have a 4-pound lion with the attitude of a 420-pound King of the Jungle. He’s the King of the Living Room. When we pay attention to what they are “showing” us, our rescued rabbits are all sorts of perfect and loving. Some, like Aspen, need to be solo buns to shine. Some, like my Peanut, need to come to you on their own terms and not be approached quickly. Trust, they always affirm what they feel; sometimes, we need to listen better!

Be more you.

Here’s where rabbits (and any animal for that matter) can really show us the path. They know no other way than to be themselves. Just like little kids, they show and share how they feel. Take a lesson from the furry ones. Be silly when the mood strikes you. Take multiple naps a day, if that’s what you’re craving. Chew the molding in my living room… wait. Scratch that. But seriously, use those instincts—don’t squash them!

Spiritual Running Buddies: I’ll see you on Friday. Rescue Fam: You inspire me. Much love.

May 28, 2018

angels Believe Bunnies Energy Healing Purpose Reiki Rescue Uncategorized

Cameron

On the last Monday in March, I paid a special visit to a special little boy. Quick backstory: Cameron was rescued with four other rabbits right before Halloween. He was adopted shortly after the New Year and returned right before Valentine’s Day. We don’t get many returns (thankfully). Cameron had fallen ill and his adopters decided to return him. Volunteers rushed to get him back into our care. Cameron developed neurological “issues”—could be genetic, could be a result of trauma sustained when he was trying to survive post-abandonment/pre-rescue. His adopters gave up on him. His foster family never will.

Cameron has been making great strides. He’s a bit wobbly at times. He needs an enclosure specially designed for his mobility needs. Other than that, he is a perfectly happy and hoppy boy. I was delighted to have the opportunity to share Reiki with him.

He had a lot to “say” compared to most of my clients. He “told” me that the “rolling” his body experienced when he first showed symptoms of illness really scared him. When working on his throat chakra, he “showed” me that he was weeping happy, grateful tears for being safe. He asked about Lil’ B, a bun with whom he was rescued. He showed me the number four—well, he was rescued with four others. He lives with four humans. In Angel Numbers, four means “the angels are with you. They send you the number 4 to reassure you that they’ve heard your prayers and are helping you.” I quite like that number for Cameron and his foster family.

He’s a young soul. He’s on his first pass through this mortal coil and he really trusts people now because of his foster family. Being a young soul, he can let go of his abandonment (twice now, that we know of) easier than others can. No resentment present in that furry little body! Cameron knows he’s “different” but feels confident and secure, which he confirmed by licking his paw. Throughout most of our session together, he stayed flopped under his bench. When I was working on his spine, however, he came toward me then ran away quickly to show he’s strong. He started eating immediately after to confirm that physical and emotional strength.

Cameron feel clenched in his hips and lower body. I told his foster family to give him some gentle hip massages. He told me that he likes to be around one person at a time, rather than a crowd. His favorite color is blue (which his foster mom guessed correctly in our post-session conversation). As I closed our session, Cameron stood up very strongly, like Mountain Pose in yoga, to show me that he feels very loved and safe.

It was a honor to work with Cameron and I am grateful to his foster family for welcoming me and Reiki in their loving home. Cameron is looking for a forever home, preferably with an experienced family who knows that different is so very beautiful.

You can follow Cameron’s foster family’s blog here.

April 8, 2018

Believe Bunnies Purpose Rescue Uncategorized

Before

Before having two rabbits of my own, I did not consider myself an “animal person.” You may have heard clippings from this yarn before. Here’s some of my companion animal history…

When I was born, my parents had a rescue dog Bonzo, named after John Bonham. I don’t remember her but I hear she was my big sister and protector. She passed when I was maybe two or three years old. I texted mom for a more precise date but she hasn’t answered me as of time of publication.

My uncle’s friend had bunnies. Foreshadowing…

34 years ago…

Shortly after Bonzo passed, Midnight, a female German Shepard puppy joined our family. I remember her. She knocked me over and, thankfully gently/playfully, bit my head. I hesitate to say “bit” because she didn’t break skin or injure me physically but biting is technically what it was. There started my fear of dogs that stayed with me for nearly three decades. Midnight was rehomed for my safety with a colleague of my father.

My only cousin growing up was a cat named Sammy. Sammy didn’t like me. Sammy belongs to my uncle who taught me the true responsibility of caring for an animal. I credit this uncle for my perfect balance of compassion and no-nonsense. His example is the foundation for what I do, for my life purpose and work. Direct all complaints his way (pause for laughter).

Various fish, a turtle and a container of Sea Monkeys filled my younger years. I can still see, like a short film playing in my head, when my uncle (not the same guy from the previous paragraph) was returning the Sea Monkeys to their spot on the table in the basement (I just had to bring them upstairs and show them off!) and accidentally dumped them over, the red lid of their container rocketing off and monkey-water cascading out. Rest in Peace, Sea Monkeys. And while we’re on the topic, what the heck are Sea Monkeys? Pause for a Googling.

Ok then… Bonus was my longest-lived Beta Fish. She went away to college with me and she accompanied me on many Connecticut to Long Island and back road trips. She was a cool chick. When I met the Bunny-Daddy, I was sharing my apartment with a Beta Fish named Ham that my grandmother brought home for me from a bridal shower. Ham was the centerpiece… really people?!

Shortly after moving in together, the Bunny-Daddy and I got Tater Tot and Peanut… the rest is history, chronicled here.

I’d say I’m an animal person now. Much Love.

March 18, 2018

Believe Purpose Uncategorized

Vows

They say it’s hard to make friends in your 30s. I say they’re not looking in the right places.

Yesterday afternoon, I sat on a remarkably comfortable blue couch and an incredible friend that I made in my 30s sat on the matching loveseat to my right. She’s getting married in July. If you know me, you know that I’m not a marriage/traditions kind of person for myself, but I get it. I’m along for the party.

After her fiancé came back from 7-11 (thanks for the seltzer!), at some point, the topic of wedding vows came up. Spoiler alert: They are not writing their own. Intuitive secret alert: I think my friend wants to write her own. But I’m not one to meddle…

I joked that I would write them some vows. I joked that I would include specific video game playing and watching etiquette in said vows. Jokes aside (are jokes ever aside for me?), I’m laying down some vows for love in general here. Feel free to use them but always give me credit. Plagiarism causes wrinkles.

…to be weird, silly or sad as the moment strikes and to feel supported in each striking moment.

…to recognize that it’s damn near impossible to get everything from one person. There are over 7 billion people on the planet and probably billions more with us in spirit. It’s ok to connect with others (see next vow).

…to communicate openly, clearly and reasonably about connecting with others. Straight talk makes for straight understanding. The trust is in the communication and the action.

…to balance needs, to support desires, to hold space for the dreams, goals, and projects of the other, even if said needs, goals, etc. seem weird. As long as no one is harmed in the process, let him/her shine.

…to find strength in each other, to be even better together without abandoning everything you are as an individual, if that’s something you value (not that you asked me, but you should value yourself as an individual).

…to honor that growth, change and evolution are likely and should be celebrated.

This vow stuff is easier than I thought— perhaps because I have clearly-defined views on my sense of self and myself in a relationship. Bunny-daddy and I just celebrated our 8^th Valentine’s Day. Our relationship certainly isn’t for everyone. But it’s for me. I’ve changed a lot over the course of 8 Valentine’s Day. I feel 100% supported in each change… and that’s a vow I treasure.

February 25, 2018

angels Believe Energy Healing Reiki Uncategorized

Amira

“They” say the energy goes where it needs to go—distance and time are not limitations, unless you treat them that way. I’ve done my share of Distance Reiki sessions and I often “channel” furbabies from afar, but last weekend was my first official leap around the world: a Reiki session with a doggy in Australia!

I met Amira’s mom through an online spiritual business group. We scheduled our session (after I was able to wrap my head around the time difference!) a few days in advance and I was ever-so excited to work with this cute pup. About a half an hour before our session commenced, I sat in meditation to connect with Amira and her mom’s energy. I anointed myself with Believe essential oil blend, my signature scent. I connected with three concepts, restlessness, the number 3 and thoughtfulness, which I presented to Amira’s mom at the start of our session.

We joined together via Zoom at the appointed time, breakfast for them, almost bedtime for me and I explained how I “work” and get messages. We talked about the restlessness I picked up on through my channeling, probably not uncommon for dogs in general, but Amira’s mom connected to my description. The number 3, a beautifully spiritual number, didn’t particularly stand out to her but we let that be. Then the thoughtfulness… I got the “message” that Amira is thoughtful, like if she were a person, she would be the type who remembers everyone’s birthdays. Her mom liked that! Super sweet.

Amira’s mom asked me to check in on Amira’s anxiety, particularly when she leaves the house, to make sure she’s comfortable and drinking her water. From there, I started my direct work with Amira, who lied casually across her bed. Starting with her crown, I felt pressure (but not pain!) and was compelled to send the word “freedom.” I sensed a favoring of her left side and she “told” me that she likes to have her right ear scratched!

Amira transitioned into her mom’s lap at some point during our session, still comfortable and soaking in the vibes. When working on her throat chakra, she acknowledged that she knows her mom listens to her—how beautiful! Moving to her heart, I felt a darkness. In our post-session conversation, I assured mom that this was NOT something scary or bad, but just something to keep an eye on, be open to… maybe get her a green toy, something to connect with the heart chakra. On to the solar plexus, Amira feels safe and heard. She feels a best friend energy with her mom and likes to be reminded of that.

Toward the close of our session, I connected strongly to Amira’s root chakra, checking in on the concerns mom expressed before we got started. Amira knows she will be with her mom forever and she grips onto their relationship. She also “showed” me the number 4. I closed the session, beaming tons of love, light and energy for the greatest good of Amira, her family and their home. I shared what I “heard” and “got” through the Reiki with Amira’s mom and thanked her for this opportunity to work together. A beautiful family, a beautiful session. Much Love.

August 2, 2017

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