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Purpose

Believe Energy Healing Purpose

Happy? Happy.

Summer Denise is a voracious reader. September to June, I am consumed by reading essays, writing lesson plans and going to bed at 8 pm… sometimes 7:15 pm. Tightly wound, but efficient as all-get-out. It’s a trade-off.

My mother bought me a copy of The Ultimate Happiness Prescription by Deepak Chopra several years ago. I put it on the bookshelf… and there it sat. During my July hiatus from, well a lot of things, the book jumped off the shelf at me. Sometimes… I think these shelves are spring-loaded. It was time to crack the spine and see what Deepak prescribes for Summer Denise. 

This slim-yet-deep read did not disappoint. Here are a few of my many take-aways:

“Animals do have memory. If you kick a dog it will remember the experience and may snarl at you if it encounters you ten years later. But unlike a human being, a kicked dog won’t plan for ten years how to get even” (20).

Of course this passage spoke to the animal rescuer in me… but even more so to the part of me that is learning to let go, release, and surrender. We’ve all had those moments, going about our day and then out of nowhere that mean comment that a random classmate said to us in the 6th grade flashes through our minds… like, where was that stored in the files? Why am I holding onto that? Granted, I’m not plotting revenge, but that hurt is stored in my body. Good thing I have tons of practices at my fingertips to help release those kinds of memories!

“Awareness heals, because awareness is truly whole, and healing is fundamentally a return to wholeness” (38).

No need to comment on that sentence. Just re-read it several times and feel that tingle in your heart-space.

“Once you know who you really are, being is enough” (53).

But… how do we know who we are? Are we who we see in the mirror? Are we who other people tell us to be? Have we spent years or even decades silencing the voice inside of us, our instincts, our true selves? Exhale, dear readers. I wasn’t kidding when I called this a slim-yet-deep read.

“Most people are trapped trying to impose their viewpoint on the world. They carry around beliefs about what is right and wrong, and they hold on to these beliefs for years. “I am right” brings comfort, but not true happiness… no one has ever been made happy by proving that they are right. The only result is conflict and confrontation, because the need to be right always makes someone else wrong” (75).

Every time I catch myself writing an impassioned reply to a social media post that I initially found offensive, annoying, or “wrong,” I bring myself back to this concept. Then, 97% of the time, I deleted what I was about to reply and move on with my day. Like Marianne and Gabby teach: would you rather be right or be happy? I pick happy… and when I pick happy, I am happy.

 

Dear readers, it was good for me to take a few weeks break, but I did miss you and it feels good, feels right to be back with you. Cheers to another month of Summer Denise and lots of great books! 

 

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Believe Purpose Teacher Life

Speak.

I wasn’t going to write today. I haven’t been in the spirit of it. I haven’t felt like I have much to say. And, for the first time maybe ever in my life, I’m not forcing myself to do, to produce, to go-go-go. I’m allowing myself to just be.

That said, this is not the time to be silent.

Name a riot in our history that happened for no reason. I didn’t say to name one that happened for a reason you don’t agree with. I didn’t ask for your opinion on riots. I didn’t ask for facts on the consequences of riots. I’m just asking: has there ever been a riot for no reason at all?

I can’t think of one.

I also can’t think of one that didn’t explode from perceived injustice.

I don’t use the term “perceived” here to indicate that those injustices were not real; I just acknowledge that not everyone in the world saw or sees the injustice. But those who were compelled to speak up, to protest, or to riot certainly perceived the injustice.

And they fought back.

This is not the time to be silent.

And I’m no keyboard warrior. My work does not end here.

A former student wrote to me on Thursday. She wants to know what she can do in these intense times.

I simply reminded her to make sure that she treats herself and every single being she encounters in person and online with kindness, respect, and compassion. Her behavior, her choices are all she can control.

And if everyone made the commitment to treat themselves and others with dignity, what a different world we would live and breathe in.

Small right actions add up to lasting change.

This is not the time to be silent. Be safe. Much love.

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Believe Coaching Energy Purpose

Ask.

Nearly 15 years ago I read Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It was one of the first books on my personal and spiritual development path. If you’re a loyal reader of this blog, you know that I’m faithfully on that path and it’s a journey that never ends… in a good way! Growth doesn’t end until… well, the end.

In March, I taught an online class about emotions. In prepping for that class, my guides all but dragged me to the book shelf and ejected my copy of this book at me. Okay, guides… I’m listening. From the day after the class ran, I’ve been studying a chapter per day as part of my morning routine.

Today, I’m sharing with you some gems from those chapters I’ve studied:

“We write this book to reawaken within you your memory of the power and inevitable success that pulse through the core of that which you really are… to assist you in returning to your place of optimism, positive expectation, and expanding joy; and to remind you that there is nothing that you cannot be, do, or have” (8).

If you don’t get chills reading those sentences…

“Your motion forward is inevitable; it must be. You cannot help but move forward. But you are not here on a quest to move forward- you are here to experience outrageous joy” (14).

Now, I know there are some eye-rollers out there… but after those beautiful eyes make their 360*, go ahead and ask yourself: Do I feel worthy of joy? I know I didn’t for some time… but I’m in a place now where I know I deserve it, I know every other being deserves it, and I know for sure that there’s enough to go around. We just have to choose it, takes the steps to be joyful, and give ourselves grace when we fall a few steps astray.

“By paying attention to the signals of your emotions, you can understand, with absolute precision, everything you are now living or have ever lived. And, with a precision and ease that you may have never before experienced, you can use this new understanding of your emotions to orchestrate a future experience that will please you in every way” (23).

I love the use of the word “orchestrate” here. Where some people get tripped up then disappointed by the Law of Attraction-type work is that they think they just think about something once or twice and boom it appears… or the law is a hoax. Orchestrate… coordinate, arrange, organize, compose… believe, hatch a plan, take the steps. That’s how it works. Listening to your emotions, letting the vibes guide you along the way shows you the path… and that requires trust in yourself.

I believe in you, even when you don’t yet believe in you.

Time to get clear on what you’re asking for… because it can all be yours. And there’s more than enough to go around. Much love.

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Bunnies Purpose Rescue

Throwback: Found but Still Lost

Around this time every year, I publish a story that I wrote in 2016… a reminder to some, new knowledge to others, about why Rescue exists.

We won’t stop until they are all safe and loved.

Found but Still Lost

I am the initial point of contact when someone emails information@longislandrabbitrescue.org.  This month, the number of “finder” emails we have received is more than double the number we receive in a typical month. We define a “finder” as someone who has either spotted a stray domestic rabbit or has rescued an abandoned domestic rabbit and is reaching out to our group for resources and recourses.  I have typed the following sentences an alarming number of times this month: “We don’t have a shelter facility; all of our rabbits are fostered in private homes. If you or someone you know can provide an indoor foster home, we can…”  And it’s not even Easter yet.

We get at least a hundred emails to the aforementioned address per month—only three times in my almost three years of being at the email helm has someone reached out because their rabbit had actually gone missing. So I can safely conclude that these “found” rabbits are abandoned, dumped, neglected.

Abandonment happens one of two ways, from my perspective.  There are the scarily misinformed, who think their rabbit, who no longer serves a purpose in their family, will survive in the woods or in a park because other rabbits live in the wild.  Yeah… those are wild rabbits.  Not domestic rabbits.  Domestic rabbits will not survive and will face the harsh elements of the seasons and starvation, and predators.  A horrible fate.

Then, there are the heartless, who just don’t care, who need this “thing” out of their house.  Sometimes these people try to seek help before abandoning their rabbit, but most town shelters aren’t equipped to handle rabbits and most rescue groups are overloaded, no matter the animal on which they focus.  For these, about whom “careless” is the nicest word I can muster, the living being they once chose to care for has passed his/her expiration date and must be tossed out.  Just a note—if caught abandoning an animal, one faces $1,000 fine and other legal consequences.  If you see something, take pictures. Send them to me.  I’ll turn them in for you.  I’m not shy.

We need:

  • Stores and breeders to stop selling rabbits.
  • People to make more informed decisions before adding any living being into their families.
  • Foster homes, donations and volunteers to save the abandoned animals.
  • You to speak up, if you know someone has dumped an animal.
  • Compassion for all things living.

As a rescue group, our resources are limited but trust that we use them to their maximum potential!  Thank you for being one of our resources.  Spread the reality about rabbits as pets—10-12 year commitment, specialized veterinary care, bunny-proofing (As I hear my chief destruction worker bunny Tater Tot tearing in to what I hope is his cardboard tunnel in the next room…).  As awareness is heightened, I hope there are far fewer rabbits out there to save.  But for now, many rabbits are found but still lost, as the number abandoned far surpasses the number of foster homes and adopters.

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Believe Coaching Purpose Teacher Life

An Interesting Time

The idiom “worried sick” has been around since the 1800s. Worry, stress, anxiety, and fear can lower your immune system. It’s reasonable to concerned as there are so many unknowns right now… but worrying yourself sick over the current situation (or over anything) does not serve you or serve the world!

As schedules and settings change for the upcoming weeks, it’s easy to feel displaced, uneasy, or even distressed. I’m sending lots of love and strength to those who have to make big decisions, like closing schools and canceling events or seasons. I had to decide to postpone a school event last week and it was not an easy choice—and I’m typically the most decisive person in the room!

I, like many of you dear readers, have a change to my regularly scheduled programming for at least the next week. The school where I teach will be closed. I’ll still have some work to do (those research papers aren’t going to grade themselves!) but my days will look and feel vastly different from the typical work week. Peanut will be happy to have me home… at least I tell myself that.

Now… to find the balance between “wasting” the whole week and pressuring myself to do all the things while I’m homebound. And if I feel this way, I’m sure someone out there feels this way, too.

You’ve heard me say it before: You can’t manage time but you can manage activity. So, let’s capitalize on this time of different routines by maximizing our self-care and productivity.

Daily Must-Dos

  • Rest and good nutrition
  • Personal development and study
  • Move! Go for a walk, hop on the yoga mat, whatever works for you
  • Laugh, have fun, dance (if you want to… and you know you do)

 

One a Day for the Next 8 Days (in no particular sequence)

1. Clean off your desk or your coffee table or your dining room table… whatever that one area is that collects everything. Nature’s first law is order.

2. Make 2 phone calls you’ve been putting off. Mine: Grandma and rescheduling the dentist. I’m telling you to keep myself accountable.

3. Clean out the freezer or that one cabinet that needs order in the kitchen.

4. Time for a dream-walk. Tap into your wildest imagination, grab a piece of paper or a journal and plan the ultimate, most over-the-top dream vacation. Nothing is off limits, as long as it doesn’t hurt any other beings! Visualize and write about every little detail… who is there, what do the towels at the resorts feel like, what does the air smell like… take this luxurious exercise in visioneering. The more clearly you see the vision, the more likely it will be that you’ll be sending me pictures from this trip at some point, thanking me for inspiring you. #humble

5. Read. For 10 minutes, 10 pages, 10 magazines… just read, please.

6. Open the closet, the drawers, and wherever else you stash the clothing and accessories. Find 2 pieces you can donate, sell, or repurpose.

7. Curate a playlist of the songs that fire you up. If you already have a playlist like this, take a moment to edit it or add some new jams.

8. Unplug. Especially as the days go on, we’ll be checking obsessively to see what happens next… Will my job close for another week? Are we back to hugging freely again? Take some conscious time away from tech, an amount of time that feels right for you. Unplug from the screens; connect to you. Just get quiet… no phone, no tasks, just you. Bonus points if you can do this first thing in the morning.

 

We are living in an interesting time… cheers to using this time to grow, to heal, to catch up and to shine! Much love.

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Guest Blogger Purpose Teacher Life

Words & Intention

I know Emika Smith through my Rescue work… but I’ve gotten to know her, the brave, introspective her who is unafraid to tell her truth and is empowered to step out and speak up, through her social media posts.

She posted something several weeks ago about her weight loss journey that just struck me. In the post, Emika shared, with candor and with strength, about the impact of people’s verbal feedback… how, even when their intentions aren’t harmful, their word choice can be hurtful.

Emika’s message struck me so profoundly that I asked her to write a guest post for my beloved blog… and I am honored that she said yes.

Emika Smith, the floor is yours…

Something they don’t tell you in college, specifically if you studying to become a teacher, is that most days you will not always teach the content of your specific degree.  I currently have my Bachelors Degree in Music Education and right now I’m hustling for my Masters of Science in Music Education.  I’m halfway through my 6th professional year.  Not a brand new teacher, but also not a veteran teacher.  Right smack in the middle.  Maybe once I hit 10 years in the classroom I’ll deem myself a “veteran” but who knows.  Every September feels like day 1, year 1 and I immediately forget everything I know about music.

What they don’t tell you in college is that you will be a parent, a friend, a psychologist, a nurse, a counselor, and a cheerleader.  You will teach kindness, social skills, coping skills, emotional processing, and then, maybe a couple of rounds of Hot Cross Buns.

I recently had a situation in my classroom with a 4th grade class where I had to stop the music-making and switch gears.  The kids were talking about who knows what.  Frankly, my “teacher ears” were on.  Meaning I’m not listening to everything the kids are saying, just keeping an ear open to anything inappropriate.  And lo and behold one child goes “Oh Emily (not her real name) is so annoying!” Literally shouted the statement.  And then there’s me, rolling my eyes in my head, Alright, here we go…“John (also not his real name) that may be your opinion but keep it to yourself, it’s unkind.”

We go back and forth a little and John goes “But Mrs. Smith, words don’t hurt.”

Stop.  Music-making done for the day.  Objective: Students will be able to be a good human being.  I respond, “Words do hurt, John.”

I’m not going to give you a dialog of our discussion, but ultimately I (hopefully) gave the children a lesson in how although we are entitled to our opinions, it’s best to keep those that may be hurtful to ourselves.

What I’ve learned over the past 6 years is that it is literally my job, to pick and choose the words I say out loud to children with such caution, not only to make it clear what I’m trying to teach, but to make sure that every child leaves my lesson with knowledge and understanding.  What I have recently learned (if you need a time line, maybe say the last 2 years) is that this skill, if you want to call it that, applies to every aspect of my life when it comes to communicating with others.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder back in 2016.  Through trying to express and articulate my symptoms, feelings, emotions, reactions, and needs to various medical professionals and family members, I learned how important choosing words truly is.  If I were to substitute one word for something else, it can mean a whole different thing.  And in a case where my physical and mental health depend on my ability to communicate what I am feeling, it can mean a huge difference in care and progress.  Thus, not only affecting me, but my family and those I interact with on a daily basis.

In February 2019 I made the decision to go ahead and get weight loss surgery.  Multiple factors led me to this decision and I had the support of my husband and my family to gather up all of my courage to proceed with one of the biggest decisions of my life.  In the months leading up to my surgery, scheduled for July 1, 2019, I slowly and discreetly let my administration, coworkers, and other family members know about my decision.  I’m a relatively private person, but if someone asks me a question about something personal I usually let them know.  Most of what I post on social media is pictures of my family or pets, and a funny meme. If I post something personal it’s usually for a good reason, I’m not out there advertising every little thing I do.

Summer came and went and I returned to work in August about 35 pounds lighter.  There was a visible difference and it was noticed by everyone.  We are a small school and we are all relatively close to each other.  I enjoyed the compliments and enjoyed informing people of what I had done.  I answered questions that were personal, but not invasive.  Everyone was genuinely happy for me and it was extremely uplifting.

It’s now January 26, 2020 and I’ve dropped down to 71 pounds gone forever.  I am in the single digits for pant sizes, no longer labeled as “obese” according to my BMI, and my overall health has improved drastically.  I still get compliments from coworkers which is lovely and I like to think I accept them gracefully.  Recently a school worker commented, “Oh Emika, you are just wasting away!”  The week before she had used the word “disappearing.”  Both statements were with a huge smile on her face and I didn’t detect any negativity behind her…*clears throat*…“compliment.”

Flashback to my 4th grade class and that statement from my student echoes in my head, “words don’t hurt.”

Today, those words did hurt.  Wasting away?  Do I look sick? Do I look unhealthy?  Am I really “disappearing?”

I go home and look at my print out of my results from my last weigh-in at my surgeon’s office.  My BMI is down, my cholesterol is normal, my muscle mass increased, my fat percentage has dropped significantly.  No, I am not “wasting away” I am HEALTHY!  And it occurred to me—I was wasting away when I was heavier and morbidly obese.  I was wasting away when I was huffing and puffing going up and down the stairs at 28 years old.  I was wasting away when my belly was too big for me to buckle my shoes for my best friend’s wedding and needed my husband’s help.  I was wasting away when I couldn’t get up from sitting on the floor in my classroom.  No one was concerned about my health back then…

In a time where we constantly write and post words online, and we establish electronic paper trails between us, our peers, and colleagues, our words and the language we use are permanently attached to us.  They follow us forever.  There is no more “he said, she said” because most of what we say is shared out online for the world to see; for people to screenshot and “share” before you get the chance to hit the “delete” button.

Every day I am amazed at what my students do, say, and accomplish.  Many of them show the grace and maturity of an adult, when actual adults lack awareness and mindfulness.  People are so quick to just say what they think without actually thinking about how their words may come across.  I understand and appreciate the intent behind that woman’s words, however they still stung.  I know she is genuinely happy for me and my success.

If we are friends, you know that I will say something if you say something that comes across a certain way, or that I will question your intended meaning.  I had a moment like that with a friend earlier this week.  If I love and care about you, I love and care about you hard.  And that means I am also going to challenge you and make you think because the last thing I want for you is to be misunderstood and have negative consequences.

You can’t take words back.  You can explain your words, but you can’t take them back.  So before you say anything, just think about your intent. And as the old saying goes, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.”

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Believe Bunnies Purpose Rescue

Throwback: Lessons Learned

Enjoy this throwback post from February 2016 titled Lessons Learned

Have I learned and worked the lessons? Something to reflect on today!

I’ve learned so much about rabbits in my nearly four years as a volunteer for the Long Island Rabbit Rescue… but I’ve learned even more about people.

I’ve observed volunteers of all ages and walks of life care for rabbits that we’ve saved from brutal neglect situations with inspiring love, yet neglect their own selves—“burning out” from taking on too much or simply not feeding and caring for themselves the way they do our foster and sanctuary rabbits.  These women and men would never let a rabbit go hungry or feed a rabbit a less than balanced, nutritious diet, but they don’t take the time to nurture themselves.  They make sure every foster and sanctuary rabbit gets daily exercise time to run, hop and play—but they don’t seem to prioritize themselves.  As dedicated volunteers, we recognize how much these gentle creatures need us.  If only we remembered that we are gentle creatures too.  Sometimes we need a little treat or a softer rug to rest our paws too.  For my fellow volunteers, I wish you would “cover a shift” in caring for yourself.  I am so blessed to work with each of you.  Please take care of you, too.

I’ve talked with hundreds of people, almost always parents of young children, who are looking to rehome their rabbit, in whom their children lost interest or for whom the family feels they can’t (or don’t want to) care anymore. These people are often ashamed to ask for help.  They perceive a failure in what they were wrongly told was a simple task—to care for a prey animal like a rabbit.  So many times, if people are open to our support, we are able to make life better for the rabbit and manageable for the family.  It’s important to see our commitments through, for our own strength and for our pet’s existence.  For these people, I wish them faith in themselves and the strength to ask for support.  Making positive changes in the current home or finding a new home will take work, for sure, but these innocent rabbits deserve the dedication!

And for all considering bringing an animal in their lives, do your research.  If you want something that’s easy to care for and something that won’t suffer when your children move on to the next interest, please buy a stuffed toy.  Please don’t use a living thing to teach a lesson, unless you are completely committed yourself to seeing that lesson through.

That said, I’ve learned so much in these four years of giving to the abandoned and neglected rabbits of Long Island.  From these fragile creatures, I’ve learned that I need space, too.  Sometimes there’s nothing more blissful than tossing the task at hand to this side (for me, returning some emails, for the bunnies, a woven grass toy or cardboard tube) and flopping out for a nap.

Sometimes it’s scary to hop somewhere new, but you might just find your favorite spot that way.  You also might find danger there, so sniff a lot first.  And use your whiskers as your guide.

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Believe Coaching Energy Purpose

Unbridled

Unbridled. Unchecked. Unrestrained. Uncontrolled.

That’s accurately describes oh so many of the relationships in our lives. Every time you’ve said yes to plans when you wanted to stay home, every time you’ve wanted to pick the restaurant but acquiesced, every time you’ve kept your lips closed when you truly had something to say, you lacked a faithful boundary… to yourself.

I’m good at saying no. I’m decisive. I’m clear on my standards. But, like with most things we discuss, it’s a practice and not a perfect. There are areas, relationships, and situations where I have unchecked boundaries for sure. And thus the Universe presented to me an advertisement on Facebook for a book launch. The book is written by a woman I’ve heard speak before. Her name is Nancy Levin. She worked in events at Hay House for years. She’s written several other books (which I’ve downloaded but haven’t read yet… at least when we hoard digital books, they don’t accumulate dust on a shelf!). I have to admit, I almost scrolled past the ad, as is the common practice, until I saw the co-host of Ms. Levin’s book launch: Gabby Bernstein. My teacher. My mentor. I’m in. One click… ticket purchased.

A book club friend and I went to the launch this past Thursday evening and it did not disappoint. In fact, before I’ve even cracked the spine of Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free, I’ve come to realize that I have more work to do in this area than my ego would have me believe. How perfect to experience this talk and now own this book on the precipice of a new decade.

Levin book.jpg

Here are some highlights from my notes from Nancy and Gabby’s talk:

  • Nancy said, “Everything that we are seeking externally needs to be resolved internally first.”
  • We have to clean up what made us boundary-less. Set yourself a place at the table.
  • Some of us are “living an other-referenced life,” as we function the way everyone else wants us to.
  • Your boundaries are between you and you.
  • Gabby shared a powerful mantra for setting and affirming boundaries: “There is no world where this exists for me anymore.”
  • And here’s the mic drop moment from Nancy: “The biggest myth about boundaries is that other people are crossing them.”

I look over at the yellow and blue cover of this book with anticipation—another tool to level up and live this life my way, in the way that fits my desires, my purpose, my heart. This is a book that will not collect dust on my bookshelf.

Much love to my #boundarybadass2020 fam!

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Believe Coaching Purpose

Cheers.

I don’t journal daily. I vision cast and write about my goals and the movement I’m forging alongside you beauties but I don’t write about my day or my feelings with consistency… except here.

I do keep a precise calendar. You can’t manage time but you can manage activity. You’ve heard me say before that I would make a great personal assistant… and I am a great one, to myself.

As I sat down to write to you today, I flipped through the 52 weeks of 2019 in my calendar. I looked over everything I did and everything we did together, dentist appointments to yoga classes, coffee dates to Iconic and Young Living Convention. The year whipped by and, boy did we get a lot done!

My vision, what I’m working towards, what I’m “getting done” but will never actually be done, is to help people work through the pressure and develop themselves fully to in turn better serve themselves, their families and their communities. I work to reaffirm to you that you matter, that you spend so much time and energy supporting everyone around you– it’s time to support yourself! I work to slow down and surrender on my own journey, to “do” less and go deeper… for me, with you, for every being.

You can set a resolution. You can write down a goal. You can put down those practices as trivial and useless.

Or you can join me in the movement.

As I crack the spine on my 2020 calendar, I’m inspired… inspired to see and to hear about the peace you are bringing into your daily routines. I am eager to hear about the milestones you reach and the new goals you set for yourself as you find and use those beautiful metaphorical wings that have been poised to open up for so long now. I sit here motivated to serve, to support, to light the way for you, especially in those moments where the darkness creeps in.

And mostly I sit in gratitude, as many of you reading this light the way for me so very often.

I’ll grab a pencil when I’m done here today and start to fill in some magic for 2020 on the calendar. I’ll also grab my treasured teal marker and circle July 18, 2020… you can do the same and then smile with anticipation to find out why… I love a teaser!

In the meantime, take this as full permission to take care of yourself. You don’t have to wait until the clock strikes midnight on Tuesday into Wednesday. You can start this very moment. Chances are you’ve already started, so take this as a moment to re-up, step up and shine. Dream big and know I am here to walk the path with you. Let’s shine together.

Cheers to another magical year. Much love!

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Believe Purpose

Throwback: Gifts

As we roll rapidly into the gift-giving season, allow me to share with you a vintage story from December 2016 titled “Gifts.”

I love giving gifts.  I guess that’s my “love language,” if you subscribe to that philosophy (remember, vintage “RHOC” with Vicki talking love languages…).  It’s not a materialistic thing; it’s a symbolic gesture.  I love giving gifts for no particular occasion, other than “I saw this and it made me think of you.”  That said, my gift giving nature was tested this holiday season.  I blame the combination of the upside-down surreal 2016 and the fact that we recently moved (as I write this, there are boxes and piles of I don’t know what to my right).  I couldn’t get a handle on time and getting the mountain of tasks done these past few weeks.  I always take on a lot, so that’s not the problem.  But I think I undervalued the magnitude of moving and just how much mental effort and physical time it would take.  Again, the curse of the achiever kicked it.

I got a handle on the gifts this year in three parts: one part obsessive organization, one part miracle, and one part best friend came down from Albany and finished all that was left undone.  Far more quickly than they were selected, purchased, wrapped and arranged, the gifts were given and floated out of my existence (except for those given to the Bunny-daddy, of course).  For those of us who take a certain kind of value in gift-giving, the exchange is the true gift.  It’s the gesture of it all.  It’s not the monetary value.  It’s not given for a subsequent lauding.  It’s the moment.  It’s the look on the receiver’s face, often times a laugh, maybe even a happy tear or two.  It’s the hug and/or the thank you card.

I love to give gifts because of the feeling in the moment.  And I love to receive them for much the same reason.  I don’t like clutter (again, it’s fairy difficult to stay focused writing this because there’s an utter mess to my right!) and sometimes gifts of a particular nature become clutter in my rigid world.  But I will always love the gesture and the symbolism of gifting and that supersedes the clutter.

I have a lot of gifts, as in abilities.  I use them, I share them and I proudly kick ass with them.  I gave a lot of gifts over the past few days, although with the typical holiday whirlwind combined with 2016’s wrath, I don’t know if I let myself feel the moment enough!  Again, putting pressure on myself… that’s a trait that I need to hone into a gift.  And if history’s any teacher, I can make that happen.

Fans, friends, loves… I must go tackle the piles of stuff, some gifts and some not.  Enjoy the magic of giving.  Much love.

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