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Where I spent my winter vacation
Believe Bunnies Energy Healing Teacher Life

Oh, Hey…

I wrote to you weekly for 6 years. I skipped maybe a handful of weeks scattered over those years, but since Believe in Bunnies launched, I sat faithfully at my keyboard on Sunday mornings to share a tale of rabbit rescue, or my spiritual journey, or walking alongside another being’s journey. My consistency wavered this past year; it’s been an effort to assure myself that it’s okay. I needed to get quiet a whole bunch… and I’m darn proud of myself for slowing down.

I make a point each day to listen to something from my teacher Gabby Bernstein. I play recordings of her lectures and workshops as I fold laundry, I run her YouTube videos in another tab as I answer emails, and I stop everything to tune into “Dear Gabby,” her Instagram-Live-turned-podcast show, when it’s on. While attending to some Rescue work last week, I was listening to a talk that I’d likely listened to before… but this time, a section jumped out at me. I ran it back thrice. I grabbed a pencil and scribbled down Gabby’s words as she gave voice to what I’d been feeling, or more accurately suppressing, for decades:

“I was walking around in a story of ‘If I am not productive, I am not alive’… it may be the key to any success I’ve experienced to date because I was moving and moving and going and going and multitasking and making things happen, but it can no longer be sustainable. It’s not the vibration I want to be in… My new mantra: Everything is happening around me and I am fully taken care of.”

I was off from work (if you’re new here, I teach high school English) this week. Historically, I’d pack these weeks off with 750 classes, talks, appointments, expectations of myself… and go back to work still needing a vacation! Fellow teachers are nodding along with that sentence. This week, I tried something radically uncomfortable– I scheduled nothing. Well, almost nothing. I had a Reiki session with my healer Lisa and a session with a one-on-one coaching client. But that was it for appointments and commitments. Outside of those two scheduled hours, I set my intention for the week off to be present and cultivate peace. I set daily goals of movement, either a workout or a virtual yoga class, mindful eating, and reading. 

Simple, right? On the outside, sure… on the inside, a challenge… as I’d been living the feeling of “If I am not productive, I am not alive” consciously and subconsciously FOREVER. Even in elementary school, I couldn’t just play with my friends; I had to organize, plan, structure. I’ll stop here on this thread before we head into a deep-dive of habits and paradigms. Today, I just want to be here. 

Over this past week, there were moments of difficulty and moments of flow. I’m leaning heavily on my new (borrowed) mantra that “Everything is happening around me and I am fully taken care of.” Nothing fell apart this week. Lessons and classes will flow just fine when the bells start ringing tomorrow, even though I did minimal school work over break. I tell the students that break means break– I deserve that too! I’ll get to the dermatologist soon for that annual body scan. Oh, and Rescue work… my goodness, have we formed an unstoppable team. I’ll have to tell you soon, dear readers, about the records we broke in 2020! I used to tell myself that I had to do it all or it wouldn’t get done; that couldn’t be further from the truth now (thank you K and S). 

The long and short of it… I’m happy to be back at the blog helm and even happier that I gave myself a break… and more breaks to come. It’s all about intention and vibe over here, no longer pushing to produce just because. Look at me… learning to chill. It’s kinda wild, what comes so simply to some can be an epic journey for others. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some actual relaxing to do. Much love. 

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Believe Energy Young Living

Ah, the Holidays…

Dozens of fall and winter celebrations around the world… and yet, those three hours you have to spend with that relative can feel like the most pressing global event to happen since Brangelina split (to be honest, I’m still in denial about that, but that’s entirely irrelevant). As we approach Thanksgiving, which some view as the kickoff to the holiday season in the U.S., I felt this to be an apt time to share my holiday survival guide with you.

Whether you’ve been in the spirit since the 4th of July or just can’t seem to care this year, holiday stuff is cropping up all around you. Add that on to everything else this unique year has brought to us… 

The good news: you get to decide if you care. Everything just is; you give it the direction. You can decide to be stressed, you can decide to leap headfirst into chaos, or you can decide to take a breath, sit it out, and do whatever resonates with you.

I hear you: “But Denise! I have to ______!!!” 

No you don’t. You choose to. You feel like you have to and you probably still will… but allow yourself a few moments to think about what would change if you didn’t _____. Or if you still did _____ but you detached from the outcome. Or, even better, envisioned it exactly how you wanted it and let the scenario fulfill your high expectations… 

When you expect that one person or situation to give you a hard time, that’s often what comes true. Try expecting differently this time.

And also:

  • Plan for your self-care just as much as you plan your shopping lists, meals, and travel.
    • Pop a citrus oil in your diffuser to keep the vibe right. Citrus Fresh is my go-to while I’m mapping out the plan.
  • Keep the peace. Correction: Keep your peace. Walk away from conversations that aren’t in line with your desired holiday spirit. 
  • Catch yourself overindulging in the food and treats? Before you pile extra onto your plate, ask yourself: Am I hungry or am I anxious? No matter the answer, food might be what you need in that moment, so honor that. Give yourself grace. Deprivation and negative self-talk will only exacerbate the situation.
  • Get your sleep, sweet friend. The to-do list will still be there tomorrow. If you aren’t rested, you aren’t getting those tasks done with acuity anyway!

Exhale, dear ones. We are in this holiday season together. Much love.

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Believe Coaching Energy Healing Teacher Life

It’s Working

This shouldn’t feel like such a revelation to me. All of my teachers, coaches, gurus, and role models have been saying it to me (directly or through their work) forever. It took some serious intention and work over the last few months, but it clicked in this past Tuesday night when I flung open the garage door and asked the Bunny-Daddy: Why don’t I feel like an anxious mess right now?

He said: Because you slowed down.

It was the evening after our first day back in the classroom. Teachers are sold the paradigm that we’re supposed to be exhausted, or worse, after the first day. But I didn’t feel tired.

I work at one of two high schools in our county that went back “all in,” with something like 91% of the student body opting to come to school in-person rather than attend virtually. Masks, barriers, distancing, staggered passing in the halls, teaching that handful of virtual learners simultaneously along with the in-person students. I was supposed to be in fear and doubt… but I was rolling with it.

I had my Rescue and business responsibilities to attend to, personal and professional preparations to manage, all the things I’ve been working towards and on for a few years now. But the pressure to get it all done right now I would normally feel, that pressure that would typically manifest as a lump in my throat and moving at a chaotic pace was missing. That’s why I went out to the garage to ask, to seek clarity, to ask What am I forgetting to do? Because I felt at peace, I felt in control, I felt genuinely good… and I couldn’t understand why or how in that moment.

A-ha… all the work is working. Call it surrender, call it letting go, or quote my teacher Gabby and say, “Slow down, sister.” I never thought I could slow down. I didn’t trust enough to delegate. I cared too much about the wrong things to even understand the concept of surrender. I used to say, to anyone who would listen, that I needed a retreat… and then I would follow up with a word-vomit of how I could never even take a half-day of a break, no less go on an actual retreat.

What I did, however, was capitalize on time at home over the past few months. I lived without the pressure of doing more and doing everything. I started digging deeper with my angel of a therapist. We worked (and are still working) on the causes, not just on the symptoms. One’s relationship with food is often a symptom. Overdoing it with substances, work, exercise, or distractions is often a symptom. Gotta find that cause, then honor, treat and heal it!

Once I saw and felt true progress, I hired a coach to keep me accountable and focused. It would have been so easy to slip back into the ways I’d always done things, the ways that didn’t feel great but felt familiar. I was not going to backslide. And, of course, along the way I oiled up, I opened up, and I committed to consuming only what made me feel good– that includes food, conversations, and media.

I needed to slow down, just a notch in some areas, completely in others, to feel better. My pace was crushing me. I’m happy to report that I’m embracing feeling good now. I’m still doing a lot… but it feels different. Ah, the feels…

I don’t say this to impress you. I say this to impress upon you that you can choose a better feeling thought, you can develop your mindset, and you can get real with just how darn powerful and magical you truly are. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some breath work to do. Much love.

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Believe Coaching Energy Healing Teacher Life Young Living

Grand Plans

Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself.” -V. Woolf

Once a year since we’ve moved into our home, I’ve had our treasured housekeeper clean all of the windows. Feel free to cringe if once a year isn’t enough for you. Only Judy can judge me. When we transitioned to working from home in the spring I thought I’d clean the windows myself this year. Dalloway vibes… but little follow through. I’ve been home for five and a half months and I’ve cleaned five windows. 

They are regular suburban house windows, nothing ornate or oversized. I’ve spent probably less than an hour total on these five windows. Glancing around, there aren’t many windows left to clean; like I said, regular suburban house. So, why haven’t I cleaned them all? And… the five I cleaned in April… they aren’t looking so pristine anymore.

You know me by now, dear readers– this isn’t a cleaning story. There’s a lesson here. There’s always a symbol, a metaphor, a reading deeply into the basic. 

Flashback to the fall semester of my senior year in college. I remember waking up early one morning, grabbing the syllabi for each course in which I was enrolled and thinking to myself: I’m going to sit at this desk and write all of my papers today for the whole semester. Get it over with, marathon, be done, be free of looming tasks. I wrote three papers that day… but seven were left untouched. Seventeen years later, I can still recall the palpable feeling of failure. I didn’t give myself even a moment to celebrate writing three papers in a day– I only focused on what was left undone.

Back to present day… we return to school in a week. I did a lot in the five and a half months I’ve been home. A solid portion of what I accomplished was finally slowing down, taking on less, and shedding a layer of work/accomplishment addiction. Yet I sit here, feeling that familiar lump in the throat of the windows left uncleaned, like the papers left unwritten. All of the personal development I do (and teach!)… but the subconscious and the body… their programming runs deep! 

I don’t mean to conflate five wiped-down windows with three academic papers– but as different as the things are, the feelings, the habitual thinking, the paradigm is the same. And now I get to decide if I’ll beat myself up for the tasks left undone, the windows left unwashed… or if I’ll pick up the Thieves cleaner and a rag… or, even more radical, just let it be. You see, everything just is. We choose the direction, the feeling, whether positive or negative, whether roadblock or stepping stone.

This story is a parable of awareness and of growth. I promise, whatever I choose to do for the next week before Denise transitions back into Ms. B., I will not be sitting here in seventeen years from now thinking about the windows I didn’t clean in 2020. I choose. I surrender. I am enough.

Much love.  

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Believe Energy Healing Purpose

Happy? Happy.

Summer Denise is a voracious reader. September to June, I am consumed by reading essays, writing lesson plans and going to bed at 8 pm… sometimes 7:15 pm. Tightly wound, but efficient as all-get-out. It’s a trade-off.

My mother bought me a copy of The Ultimate Happiness Prescription by Deepak Chopra several years ago. I put it on the bookshelf… and there it sat. During my July hiatus from, well a lot of things, the book jumped off the shelf at me. Sometimes… I think these shelves are spring-loaded. It was time to crack the spine and see what Deepak prescribes for Summer Denise. 

This slim-yet-deep read did not disappoint. Here are a few of my many take-aways:

“Animals do have memory. If you kick a dog it will remember the experience and may snarl at you if it encounters you ten years later. But unlike a human being, a kicked dog won’t plan for ten years how to get even” (20).

Of course this passage spoke to the animal rescuer in me… but even more so to the part of me that is learning to let go, release, and surrender. We’ve all had those moments, going about our day and then out of nowhere that mean comment that a random classmate said to us in the 6th grade flashes through our minds… like, where was that stored in the files? Why am I holding onto that? Granted, I’m not plotting revenge, but that hurt is stored in my body. Good thing I have tons of practices at my fingertips to help release those kinds of memories!

“Awareness heals, because awareness is truly whole, and healing is fundamentally a return to wholeness” (38).

No need to comment on that sentence. Just re-read it several times and feel that tingle in your heart-space.

“Once you know who you really are, being is enough” (53).

But… how do we know who we are? Are we who we see in the mirror? Are we who other people tell us to be? Have we spent years or even decades silencing the voice inside of us, our instincts, our true selves? Exhale, dear readers. I wasn’t kidding when I called this a slim-yet-deep read.

“Most people are trapped trying to impose their viewpoint on the world. They carry around beliefs about what is right and wrong, and they hold on to these beliefs for years. “I am right” brings comfort, but not true happiness… no one has ever been made happy by proving that they are right. The only result is conflict and confrontation, because the need to be right always makes someone else wrong” (75).

Every time I catch myself writing an impassioned reply to a social media post that I initially found offensive, annoying, or “wrong,” I bring myself back to this concept. Then, 97% of the time, I deleted what I was about to reply and move on with my day. Like Marianne and Gabby teach: would you rather be right or be happy? I pick happy… and when I pick happy, I am happy.

 

Dear readers, it was good for me to take a few weeks break, but I did miss you and it feels good, feels right to be back with you. Cheers to another month of Summer Denise and lots of great books! 

 

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Energy Young Living

My Summer Essentials

Summer Denise is officially here. Distance learning has wrapped (at least until September…) and my mantra is “I am on vacation.” I repeat that to myself as I start each day, reminding me to slow down and bring vacation vibes to all that I do for myself, for my family, for Rescue, and for my wellness business. I can still make it all happen and be on vacation… island vibes.

Armed with my mantra, I am committed to feeling good every day. I am spending less time on the phone and more time outside—less distraction, more appreciation. Allow me to share with you my five summer must-haves, the essential items that Summer Denise uses every glorious day.

  1. Mineral Sunscreen Lotion

Do your research, dear readers, to find out what studies show Oxybenzone and Avobenzone, the active ingredients in conventional sunscreens, do to your body. When I say “do your research,” I don’t mean Google and believe the first blog that comes up—even if that blog is mine. Take some time. Gather some reliable research sources. Then, do some research on mineral sunscreens.

I opt for Young Living’s Mineral Sunscreen Lotion, because I know YL can backup their claims of being clean, reef-safe, and vegan-friendly.

  1. Lavaderm Cooling Mist

It’s hot out there. It’s humid. I mist Lavaderm all over myself when I’m reading in my deck chair and after a shower. A beautiful aroma… and it cools me down!

  1. Lavaderm After Sun Spray

This stuff works. Thankfully, I haven’t had a sunburn in years… but I’ve used this on bug bites, minor cuts and scrapes from my loving fur-children (Peanut does not like to be picked up), and minor skin irritations. Lavaderm After Sun works incredibly quickly, taking away itching and helping to restore my skin to a healthy-looking, smooth state! I use this all-year-round.

  1. Insect Repellent

Bugs love me. I’ve tried everything, even those sprays that are intended for camping trips in the deep woods… and I would still get eaten alive! A single mosquito bite would make my face swell up. I ran out of many summer BBQs with my head down, jetting to the car before anyone could see what one little bug could do to me. For real. Ask the Bunny-daddy. A few summers ago, Young Living came out with the plant-based Insect Repellent and that was the first summer I could truly enjoy outside! I am still in awe, and am incredibly grateful, that I can hang out outside without being swollen, itchy, and in pain. I have legit love for this product. It has given me freedom.

  1. Vitality Drops

Replenishing your electrolytes is essential for hydration and for feeling great! A new addition to my essentials, Vitality Drops + Electrolytes are delicious. I like “plain” water, but sometimes I can drink water nonstop and still feel thirsty. One squirt of Vitality Drops in a glass of water… and I feel the difference in my hydration. Feel great… accomplish great things, including great relaxation!

 

Yes, my summer essentials all come from one place. I love convenience. I love products whose labels aren’t flashy claims without substance. I love getting rewarded when I shop. And I love sharing the things that make my life high-performance and abundantly happy!

Much love from Summer Denise.

 

Hop over to this link to take charge of your wellness with easy, effective, and affordable solutions for your every need: Young Living Essential Oils & Wellness Products

I’m an email away if you have any questions: believeinbunnies@gmail.com

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Believe Coaching Energy Healing

Lighten Up

I felt some relief when I saw a post from Glennon Doyle this morning about how she hasn’t written a word in a while. I know better than to seek validation from the outside but there was something comforting in seeing that the most-talked about writer right now is also a bit blocked.

I can take that post as permission to continue to stand still… or I can exhale and see things differently (which clearly I did because I’m writing to you today). Glennon’s words just took the pressure off… taking the pressure off has been a theme for me lately. Release that self-inflicted pressure valve.

Two weeks ago, a memory popped into my head of my mother telling me to “Lighten up” when I was younger. Mommy, if you’re reading this THIS IS NOT A BAD THING. You were absolutely right. You never said it as a put-down. You said it when I was being ridiculously hard on myself… but I didn’t really know what that meant, to lighten up. That’s exactly what I needed to do, and often still need to do. Just like RuPaul’s 10th grade teacher told him: “Don’t take life so f…ing seriously.” I find it no coincidence that I too teach 10th grade.

I just never knew how to lighten up. Sure, I could have fun… but I always craved, and often still do, this intense structure, control, a formula to know for sure what would happen next. I needed to choreograph, to conduct, to construct. Lighten up… I would love to! But how? This is how I felt programmed to be. This is what feels safe, or at least predictable.

Lighten up. Be the light. Love and light. “Slow down, sister”, as my teacher Gabby Bernstein says. Messaging all in the same vein… take the pressure off. Flow.

And I’ve done that, in spurts, in moments, as I’ve grown in my spiritual practice. Take today, as the perfect example. I could have sat at my desk and forced myself, self-inflicted pressure valve tightly closed, thinking: You haven’t written in weeks. it’s Sunday morning. Sit here and write! But instead…

I’m sitting on the steps of our backyard deck right now, laptop in my lap, as the name intends. I would be sitting in a chair but they are zip-tied to each other and to the table from our last crazy storm. I’ve never written out here. I was stuck in the pattern of writing at my desk because that’s just what you do. But, my goodness, lighten up, loosen up! There’s a whole world out there. Charge the battery and go somewhere else (safely of course). Sitting at the desk for the last 9 weeks, or is it 10 now, I’ve been all in my head. Grabbed a hoodie, walked a few feet outside, and bam… it’s all flowing onto the electronic page. Ah, sweet release.

In those moments, where you find yourself clenching, perhaps your shoulders are up to your ears, your tongue is mashed to the roof of your mouth, your jaw feels wired shut, your thoughts are nearly paralyzing, try lightening up with me. Now, we don’t want that to become the equivalent of telling someone to calm down when they are upset, so let’s craft a practice to Lighten Up (or am I controlling again? See how quickly self-judgment kicks in for me?! Lighten up, Denise).

And please, don’t confuse Lighten Up with making a joke of something or ignoring something. Let’s make Lighten Up our mantra for when we need to see more clearly into a situation, illuminating what’s really important and releasing the judgments and needs to control.

Our Lighten Up Practice

  • Gently close your beautiful eyes, if you feel comfortable. On an inhale, observe the clenching, gripping, grasping, whether in the physical body or in the mind.

Often, you’ll find it’s in both and you’ll notice patterns within yourself. Noticing the patterns is a good thing! It will help you feel better faster when you slip into the tough moments.

  • Exhale, sending your attention and breath to the physical tension. Envision those parts releasing, flood them with a soft purple light.

 

  • Observe your thoughts. Ask yourself: What’s at the core here? How can I “lighten up” the situation?

 

  • Inhale, seeing the situation in your mind’s eye. As you exhale, see the issue flooded with a soft, healing light. Put yourself in the center of this vision.

 

  • Sit in this light, in this vision for as long as you need to feel better, just one notch better, one turn of the pressure valve released. As little as 17 seconds in this vision can bring relief.

 

  • Return to your Lighten Up practice as your body and minds calls for it. YOU are the light.

 

Much love.

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Believe Coaching Energy Purpose

Ask.

Nearly 15 years ago I read Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It was one of the first books on my personal and spiritual development path. If you’re a loyal reader of this blog, you know that I’m faithfully on that path and it’s a journey that never ends… in a good way! Growth doesn’t end until… well, the end.

In March, I taught an online class about emotions. In prepping for that class, my guides all but dragged me to the book shelf and ejected my copy of this book at me. Okay, guides… I’m listening. From the day after the class ran, I’ve been studying a chapter per day as part of my morning routine.

Today, I’m sharing with you some gems from those chapters I’ve studied:

“We write this book to reawaken within you your memory of the power and inevitable success that pulse through the core of that which you really are… to assist you in returning to your place of optimism, positive expectation, and expanding joy; and to remind you that there is nothing that you cannot be, do, or have” (8).

If you don’t get chills reading those sentences…

“Your motion forward is inevitable; it must be. You cannot help but move forward. But you are not here on a quest to move forward- you are here to experience outrageous joy” (14).

Now, I know there are some eye-rollers out there… but after those beautiful eyes make their 360*, go ahead and ask yourself: Do I feel worthy of joy? I know I didn’t for some time… but I’m in a place now where I know I deserve it, I know every other being deserves it, and I know for sure that there’s enough to go around. We just have to choose it, takes the steps to be joyful, and give ourselves grace when we fall a few steps astray.

“By paying attention to the signals of your emotions, you can understand, with absolute precision, everything you are now living or have ever lived. And, with a precision and ease that you may have never before experienced, you can use this new understanding of your emotions to orchestrate a future experience that will please you in every way” (23).

I love the use of the word “orchestrate” here. Where some people get tripped up then disappointed by the Law of Attraction-type work is that they think they just think about something once or twice and boom it appears… or the law is a hoax. Orchestrate… coordinate, arrange, organize, compose… believe, hatch a plan, take the steps. That’s how it works. Listening to your emotions, letting the vibes guide you along the way shows you the path… and that requires trust in yourself.

I believe in you, even when you don’t yet believe in you.

Time to get clear on what you’re asking for… because it can all be yours. And there’s more than enough to go around. Much love.

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Believe Coaching Energy Teacher Life

Resources for Peace

As for the news… Get the facts from your trusted source then shut. it. off. And stay home, if you can, please.

Behold the possibility of the days. Here are some of my favorite resources for breaks and self-care while working from home:

The incredibly relatable and generous Adriene Mischler, star of Yoga with Adriene, will help you find what feels good with Yoga for Uncertain Times, a curated playlist of 34 yoga practices of varying lengths and intentions.

Find that here: Yoga for Uncertain Times

 

Binge watch The Bold Type. While it’s nothing like The Office, Melora Hardin is one of the principal actors in the show. I like to pretend that her character Jacqueline Carlyle is everything Jan Levinson imagined herself to be.

Find that here: The Bold Type

 

My teacher Gabby Bernstein is hosting a free online Anxiety Relief Workshop on Sunday, March 29th at 1 pm & 8 pm ET, with free replay through April 5th.

Get registered: Anxiety Relief Workshop

 

Craving an intense workout? Look no further than Kelsie’s Barre. Kelsie is offering free classes via Zoom… trust, her workouts are like no other!

Find that here: Kelsie’s Barre

 

Revisit that one video that makes you laugh without fail… mine is a clip of a local newscaster who didn’t realize she was still on the air and said something she did not intend for the world to hear. I’m not linking it here because of the language… but I’m playing it now and laughing… not at her but at the circumstance!

 

Scroll through Cameo and brighten someone’s day with a video from a celebrity. I had William Hung, of American Idol fame, send a message to my best friend last week… it was worth WAY MORE than I paid for it! He even sang a custom version of “She Bangs.” Seriously.

Find that here: Cameo

 

And, as always, I’m here for you. Whether you just want to vent, to chat or if you’re ready to set some goals and hatch a plan, I’m available to you.

Book a free call with me: Connect with Denise

 

Much love, always.

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Believe Coaching Energy

News Flash: Your Mentor is Human

I have several people I think of as mentors in different areas of my life, some I actually know and work closely with and others who are Friends/Mentors in My Head. A few who started out as In My Head are real life mentors/friends now… which is just manifesting at it’s finest… but that’s a how-to for another day, dear readers.

The other day, I heard one of my mentors say something that snapped me out of alignment… did she really just say that? Is that what she really believes?

In this time of Cancel Culture, where many are inclined to grab their things, storm away, unfollow and lambast on Yelp and any other platform they can access at the slightest unpleasant interaction, I took a moment to pause and ponder:

Do I completely write off everything this mentor has done for me and for my community because of one difference in beliefs?

A resounding no. She is not my guru or my goddess. She’s a person. One of my favorite things about being human is that we have the option of choice. I’m not trying to be her and she needn’t be a replica of me. Sure, it’s cool, affirming, even fun, when beliefs align… but I don’t think complete synchronicity is necessary in any relationship, particularly one of this nature.

We don’t have to agree on every single drop of life. I am fiercely socially liberal. I know it’s not always “recommended” to announce beliefs like that in my line of work but I am unafraid to say that I think every single one of you has the right to be who you are and live this life on your terms, including the right to make the choices that are best for you and your family.

If I relish that right and I work to empower others to embrace that freedom, why would I even consider writing off anyone who thinks differently* than I do?

(*unless they are doing harm… then, we can part ways)

In all of my work on myself, I’ve learned to snap back into alignment, to not let (most) things derail my spirit. Within two minutes of hearing her opinion, I was able to reframe it as just that, something she believes to be true. I believe differently. It’s that simple.

I completely acknowledge that not every situation, relationship, or belief is this simply reconciled, but I do think you can find understanding in even those more complicated or triggering issues through these steps:

  • Know your values. Write them down. Acknowledge what’s important to you.
  • Understand your belief system and convictions. When you truly believe, you have the power to stand confidently, without that frantic or combative nature to convince others to be “on your side.”
  • Take a breath. Cutting someone or something off radically can leave wounds. When you cut a piece of ribbon in half, both sides can get frayed… even if you reattach the pieces, the ribbon doesn’t look or feel the same.
  • Allow others the same grace and acceptance that you deserve in return. You remember that Golden Rule.
  • If you do react in a way that you wish you didn’t, own it. If you’ve been on the receiving side of a harsh reaction, forgive and delete. Mute, unfollow, snooze, take a break, block… tools that exist for a reason!

As I write this to you, I celebrate my mentor’s opinions and beliefs… all while still holding onto my own opinions and beliefs. This feeling is far more freeing and happiness-inducing than my (thankfully temporary) anger and dismay a few days ago.

After all… I’m not Judy, thus I cannot judge anyone. Embrace the humanness of your mentors, role models, colleagues, family… Much love.

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