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Resources for Peace

As for the news… Get the facts from your trusted source then shut. it. off. And stay home, if you can, please.

Behold the possibility of the days. Here are some of my favorite resources for breaks and self-care while working from home:

The incredibly relatable and generous Adriene Mischler, star of Yoga with Adriene, will help you find what feels good with Yoga for Uncertain Times, a curated playlist of 34 yoga practices of varying lengths and intentions.

Find that here: Yoga for Uncertain Times

 

Binge watch The Bold Type. While it’s nothing like The Office, Melora Hardin is one of the principal actors in the show. I like to pretend that her character Jacqueline Carlyle is everything Jan Levinson imagined herself to be.

Find that here: The Bold Type

 

My teacher Gabby Bernstein is hosting a free online Anxiety Relief Workshop on Sunday, March 29th at 1 pm & 8 pm ET, with free replay through April 5th.

Get registered: Anxiety Relief Workshop

 

Craving an intense workout? Look no further than Kelsie’s Barre. Kelsie is offering free classes via Zoom… trust, her workouts are like no other!

Find that here: Kelsie’s Barre

 

Revisit that one video that makes you laugh without fail… mine is a clip of a local newscaster who didn’t realize she was still on the air and said something she did not intend for the world to hear. I’m not linking it here because of the language… but I’m playing it now and laughing… not at her but at the circumstance!

 

Scroll through Cameo and brighten someone’s day with a video from a celebrity. I had William Hung, of American Idol fame, send a message to my best friend last week… it was worth WAY MORE than I paid for it! He even sang a custom version of “She Bangs.” Seriously.

Find that here: Cameo

 

And, as always, I’m here for you. Whether you just want to vent, to chat or if you’re ready to set some goals and hatch a plan, I’m available to you.

Book a free call with me: Connect with Denise

 

Much love, always.

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Believe Coaching Energy

News Flash: Your Mentor is Human

I have several people I think of as mentors in different areas of my life, some I actually know and work closely with and others who are Friends/Mentors in My Head. A few who started out as In My Head are real life mentors/friends now… which is just manifesting at it’s finest… but that’s a how-to for another day, dear readers.

The other day, I heard one of my mentors say something that snapped me out of alignment… did she really just say that? Is that what she really believes?

In this time of Cancel Culture, where many are inclined to grab their things, storm away, unfollow and lambast on Yelp and any other platform they can access at the slightest unpleasant interaction, I took a moment to pause and ponder:

Do I completely write off everything this mentor has done for me and for my community because of one difference in beliefs?

A resounding no. She is not my guru or my goddess. She’s a person. One of my favorite things about being human is that we have the option of choice. I’m not trying to be her and she needn’t be a replica of me. Sure, it’s cool, affirming, even fun, when beliefs align… but I don’t think complete synchronicity is necessary in any relationship, particularly one of this nature.

We don’t have to agree on every single drop of life. I am fiercely socially liberal. I know it’s not always “recommended” to announce beliefs like that in my line of work but I am unafraid to say that I think every single one of you has the right to be who you are and live this life on your terms, including the right to make the choices that are best for you and your family.

If I relish that right and I work to empower others to embrace that freedom, why would I even consider writing off anyone who thinks differently* than I do?

(*unless they are doing harm… then, we can part ways)

In all of my work on myself, I’ve learned to snap back into alignment, to not let (most) things derail my spirit. Within two minutes of hearing her opinion, I was able to reframe it as just that, something she believes to be true. I believe differently. It’s that simple.

I completely acknowledge that not every situation, relationship, or belief is this simply reconciled, but I do think you can find understanding in even those more complicated or triggering issues through these steps:

  • Know your values. Right them down. Acknowledge what’s important to you.
  • Understand your belief system and convictions. When you truly believe, you have the power to stand confidently, without that frantic or combative nature to convince others to be “on your side.”
  • Take a breath. Cutting someone or something off radically can leave wounds. When you cut a piece of ribbon in half, both sides can get frayed… even if you reattach the pieces, the ribbon doesn’t look or feel the same.
  • Allow others the same grace and acceptance that you deserve in return. You remember that Golden Rule.
  • If you do react in a way that you wish you didn’t, own it. If you’ve been on the receiving side of a harsh reaction, forgive and delete. Mute, unfollow, snooze, take a break, block… tools that exist for a reason!

 

As I write this to you, I celebrate my mentor’s opinions and beliefs… all while still holding onto my own opinions and beliefs. This feeling is far more freeing and happiness-inducing than my (thankfully temporary) anger and dismay a few days ago.

After all… I’m not Judy, thus I cannot judge anyone. Embrace the humanness of your mentors, role models, colleagues, family… Much love.

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Believe Energy Healing

Salty

I was terrified… but intrigued. The terror made me book the appointment.

On the quest to live this life in the most feel-good, spread joy, enjoy more moments type of way, I’m open to trying to all the things. I haven’t floated yet… but that’s on the list.

Last Sunday, sitting at this very desk, my phone dinged. The ding was a text from a local wellness spa that I’d yet to visit, sharing a special for halotherapy, also known as a salt cave. Feeling brave in that moment, I said, “Let’s go!” in my head and called for an appointment.

Now, let’s be clear—there’s nothing to fear about a salt cave. It doesn’t shake or flip upside-down. There aren’t costumed characters waiting to jump out at you during the session. In fact, I’m sitting next to a Himalayan salt lamp as I type this and it’s not trying to harm me in any kind of way.

In fact, there are many reputed benefits of this fancy salt, whether you get it from a lamp or spend time in a cave. Halotherapy is said to have positive effects on those dealing with respiratory conditions, allergies, and dermatological problems. Halotherapy has anti-bacterial and anti-inflammatory properties. It’s also immune-boosting (Disclaimer: I haven’t done any actual research—I’m just reporting from the pamphlet I was given).

I booked the appointment for relaxation… but if those other benefits are legit, I’ll take those, too.

Back to the terrifying part… the daunting thought of sitting still for 45 minutes. If you’ve seen me teach, you know I move around a lot. I’m someone who struggles to sit still through breakfast. My mind kicks right in as soon as I wake up in the morning, with all of the things to do, to accomplish, to go-go-go… it’s no wonder I can sleep 12-14 hours uninterrupted on the regular! My brain has a lot of restoring to do in shut-down time.

Despite this inclination to move at the speed of light, I know darn well that slowing down is necessary, beneficial, and even produces better results. Both of my coaches teach just that, in different wording. And I know it’s true… but I continue to emotionalize, to connect with the constant doing and going. Hence, the necessity for me to try things like the salt cave. The “better” me I become, I better I can serve you. Sat nam.

Friday afternoon, I drove east to Opulence Spa in Babylon (you had me at the name Opulence!). I was greeted by Natalie, who answered my many questions and got me settled in the cave with a blanket and some spa music. I got comfy in a zero-gravity chair… and I did it! I sat down, without my phone, without a book, without a thing to clean, grade, do… I did it.

Trust, my mind was all over the place. There was little Zen in my head… but there was no terror, as I anticipated. When I caught my mind racing, I gently escorted it back to the present moment, the softly-lit cave, the serenity. My goal was to make it through the session and I did it. I’m sure the Zen will come with practice, just like in meditation, yoga, and the other modalities I practice or teach.

I know it seems silly to some that this is what was terrifying me… so I thank you for allowing me to share honestly. Hey, I’m getting up on stage at a freakin’ convention center next weekend to speak and I’m not terrified of that! But this was rocking me… and I’m proud of myself for going for it, for carving out the time to just be. Those moments, as they happen more often and with more intention, will help me be the best version of myself… and I’m smiling as that sentence appears on the screen… because, dear readers, I’m so ready to soar with you.

And salt cave… I’ll be back. Much love.

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Believe Energy Guest Blogger Healing

Fairy Tales

Three Things Jen Weir and I have in common:

  1. We share a coach.
  2. We live on the east coast.
  3. We are committed to helping you find your passion and live the life of your dreams.

I am honored to welcome Jen to our Believe in Bunnies community today. Enjoy her wisdom and check out her wonderful work over at WeirTX.com

The floor is yours, Jen:

Fairy tales are timeless. As a little girl, I loved listening to the Cinderella movie record, (yes, the record), twirling and dancing throughout the house wishing my fairy godmother would whisk me away from the abuse and hardship I lived in. To this day if I hear “Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo” I am transported back to that apartment in Germany, dancing around and around.

As I grew up, I still loved fairy tales, yet I resolutely decided those were not for someone like me. Fairy tale stories and movies are, well, fairy tales. Fictional. Silly illusions and pipe dreams, created to draw little ones into a false sense of reality.

Who knew, telling myself a story of “that can’t happen to me” would seal the deal on never achieving what it was my heart truly desired? Never would I have imagined that because of the story I kept telling myself, finance and business goals would become difficult to realize.

As an adult in a career I was quite successful. On the outside, success looked like it was mine. But when self-reflection was in play, there was a sense of “not quite”.

It wasn’t a manner of discontent, it was more of, I had set a goal and yet fell just short each time. In one place of work I was successful, but not at the top of my field. In another, I was a sought-after educator, but not the best of the best. “No one can be the best in their field, can they?” I reasoned. After all, biblically speaking, aren’t we to be content in all things, satisfied with less in life? I mean, really, who did I think I was anyway, wanting to achieve outstanding success.

 

Mediocrity started to find its roots in my soul.

That is, until I set foot on my most recent path.

 

The business I found myself in, quite literally stumbling into it, there was no ceiling. There was room for anyone who wanted that kind of success. It was completely and totally up to me, my efforts and my choice. Period. No one else called the shots. I set my sights on the top! I went after it, hard, only to met with mediocre results. Once again I found middle of the road success. “Most people in this company would give anything to be where you are,” said a well-meaning friend. But, I’m not most people…

 

Why couldn’t I grab hold of this elusive dream?

 

The story I had told myself all my life… greatness and success don’t happen to people like me. Desperately asking my mind the question, why am I falling short month after month, the answer came. You see, when you ask yourself a question, your mind searches for the answer. My mind spoke back to me saying, “sweet girl, this is the story we have told since we were that little girl”. Growing up in abuse, poverty and separation from parents created a story of unworthiness. It’s not a good story, but it is a powerful one. Also, its one that is simply not true. It is built on lies and false perspectives.

It’s one thing to recognize the false story; it’s another to be able to break free from it. In order to grab what is rightfully yours, you must tell a different story and in order to do that, you must heal from emotional wounds that are creating the lie.

If you realize your life is not what you would have ordered, may I gently suggest, you deserve better? You deserve the life you have always dreamed of, that one from when you were twirling as a young child.

Ask yourself some questions;

  1. How do you talk to yourself each day? Meaning, that mind chatter, what is it like? What does it say, and what feeling does it create within you? When you self-talk, do you feel uplifted?
  2. Why are you talking that way to yourself?
  3. If a miracle occurred tomorrow, that would start a path for you toward the life you desire, what would it be?

 

Once you write these out, sit with the third answer. Look at it, why is this the miracle? Write out an affirmation statement of actually having this thing, such as “I am ______, or I have ______, or I create____.” You see, affirmations are a form of strengthening the brain. Affirmations come from the Latin root word ‘affirmare,’ meaning to make steady or strengthen. When we speak out affirming words to ourselves or others, we are creating a steadiness in others and strengthening our minds in order to believe and accomplish that which we are seeking.

As you speak out affirmations, use your mind to imagine, what it would look like in your life, if what you’re creating those desires. Imagine the feeling that comes with it. Perhaps even the sound. If your accomplishment ends in fanfare like walking across a stage, perhaps you can pair your dream with a walk up song.

Rewriting your story takes some careful thought and time to put it into practice. Be patient with yourself. Sometimes a memory will come up that you connect that is the reason you have this belief. That’s the sweet spot my friend. That’s the point you must push past and break through to the other side.

*** if you just started signing The Doors tune, you are my people***

It’s true though, breaking through that barrier that has held you back al these years takes a bit of pushing and effort on your part. But i can assure you, when you do, oh that victory is so sweet.

For those who just read this and thought, yea, lovely, but you have no idea my life. There’s no way I could possibly do … Can I tell you, I hear you, and not only do I hear, I see you my friend. After investing three years into the study of why dreams aren’t achieved and what is holding people back from breaking free from the past, I wrote a course in order to help those folks do just that. It would be an honor and a joy to walk with you in that journey back to your fairy tale life. Some stories take a little more than simply running through a few journal prompts. Some require digging, uprooting and replanting. If that is you, this course was written for you. Apply here~ https://www.weirtx.com/essentially-free

 

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Believe Coaching Energy Purpose

Unbridled

Unbridled. Unchecked. Unrestrained. Uncontrolled.

That’s accurately describes oh so many of the relationships in our lives. Every time you’ve said yes to plans when you wanted to stay home, every time you’ve wanted to pick the restaurant but acquiesced, every time you’ve kept your lips closed when you truly had something to say, you lacked a faithful boundary… to yourself.

I’m good at saying no. I’m decisive. I’m clear on my standards. But, like with most things we discuss, it’s a practice and not a perfect. There are areas, relationships, and situations where I have unchecked boundaries for sure. And thus the Universe presented to me an advertisement on Facebook for a book launch. The book is written by a woman I’ve heard speak before. Her name is Nancy Levin. She worked in events at Hay House for years. She’s written several other books (which I’ve downloaded but haven’t read yet… at least when we hoard digital books, they don’t accumulate dust on a shelf!). I have to admit, I almost scrolled past the ad, as is the common practice, until I saw the co-host of Ms. Levin’s book launch: Gabby Bernstein. My teacher. My mentor. I’m in. One click… ticket purchased.

A book club friend and I went to the launch this past Thursday evening and it did not disappoint. In fact, before I’ve even cracked the spine of Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free, I’ve come to realize that I have more work to do in this area than my ego would have me believe. How perfect to experience this talk and now own this book on the precipice of a new decade.

Levin book.jpg

Here are some highlights from my notes from Nancy and Gabby’s talk:

  • Nancy said, “Everything that we are seeking externally needs to be resolved internally first.”
  • We have to clean up what made us boundary-less. Set yourself a place at the table.
  • Some of us are “living an other-referenced life,” as we function the way everyone else wants us to.
  • Your boundaries are between you and you.
  • Gabby shared a powerful mantra for setting and affirming boundaries: “There is no world where this exists for me anymore.”
  • And here’s the mic drop moment from Nancy: “The biggest myth about boundaries is that other people are crossing them.”

I look over at the yellow and blue cover of this book with anticipation—another tool to level up and live this life my way, in the way that fits my desires, my purpose, my heart. This is a book that will not collect dust on my bookshelf.

Much love to my #boundarybadass2020 fam!

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Believe Coaching Energy

A Blast of Inspiration

The ideas rarely come when you’re sitting, or pacing, and mentally screaming at them to show up. We “hear” when we get quiet, when we loosen the grip…

 

That’s why you’ll have that epic idea while shampooing your hair or why you can play out the best version of a difficult conversation when you’re alone in the car.

I think it was my Reiki healer Lisa who shared this metaphor with me. Allow me to paraphrase. If you catch a beautiful butterfly in your hand and you squeeze your hand tightly in effort to hold onto her, you crush her wings and probably kill her. If you wrap your fingers gently, you can cradle her safely, just long enough to commit her beauty to memory.

It’s touching lightly.

Now I know we aren’t often catching butterflies… but you can catch my drift.

So, I won’t keep you long today, dear readers. Power off the screens. Take off the smart watch, unless you’re tracking your steps with it. Find a few minutes of peace… get quiet and “listen.”

That first thought, that’s intuition. The follow-up ones, the ones that tell you no and why not, that’s ego.

Go with the intuition. I can’t wait to hear about what your next move is.

Much love.

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Believe Coaching Energy Purpose

Envision

“I bet you’ve got an idea-to-reality story, too. A time where you had a mere thought about something you wanted to see, do, create, experience or become—and you eventually did it.” -Marie Forleo

The universe leaves clues. These clues show us the potential power we have.

No clue what year it was… I guess I could try to figure it out but it really doesn’t matter. Just know that it was sometime between 2002 and 2010. I was walking up to a pizza place in the town where I grew up. Parked out front was a silver Mercedes-Benz E55 AMG. 55 has been my favorite number since childhood so I chalked up the attention to that. As I walked past the car, a thought popped into my head: I will have an E55 AMG one day.

I scoffed at that thought. I never wanted a Mercedes (don’t get me wrong, I love cars… but that just wasn’t a make on my wish list) and an AMG… that’s some sort of upgrade that I don’t need driving to and from work. But the thought popping into my head like a fact, not a latent wish or desire but a fact, that I would have this car one day was undeniable.

July 2010, I connect with the Bunny-Daddy. We start to hang out, eventually start to date. The car in his driveway: a silver E55 AMG.

Now, the one I saw in the pizza place parking lot years prior was not driven by him—different body style and he was driving a Mini back then. But there it was in his driveway and a year later in our driveway, the E55.

The universe leaves clues.

It’s a knowing. Just like the feeling I got as my mother made a right turn onto the campus of Sacred Heart University for a visit and tour in 1999. Sitting in the passenger seat, I just felt it, knew it—I was going to school here.

I only applied to that one college. I wasn’t wasting my time on other applications and essays. SHU was my school. This was a non-negotiable. I could have questioned, doubted, allowed circumstances to derail me. I could have worried about admissions, about not challenging myself enough, about tuition and housing costs, about not giving myself options… but I didn’t let that what-if worry way of thinking interfere with my mission. With that commitment to myself and my goal, everything worked itself out beautifully, including scholarship and work opportunities that supplemented a portion of tuition and housing. And thank goodness I didn’t back off of my dream—I met my best friend at SHU, my sister.

The universe works fast when we are faithful to our dreams.

I went to bed one night last spring, asking the universe for a way to make the one-on-one coaching program my incredible business coach offers work into my budget. The very next day, my coach announced a small group program that fit perfectly into my budget and gives me not only great access to her wisdom but a group of like-minded leaders to soar with.

I asked and I received.

I share these stories to remind you that you have this power. The universe, God, spirit, whatever aligns with you, wants every single one of us to have the best possible experience here on this mortal coil. But you have to do your part.

Sure, the Mercedes story is just a cute one, just a sign from universe that if that thought can come true, the possibilities abound. (And in case you are wondering, no I did not date the Bunny-Daddy for the car. A used Mercedes does not a relationship make!)

I’m reading Everything is Figureoutable with my spiritual and personal development book club. That’s where I came across the quote that starts this story. If these touchstone moments, a mode of transportation, a college experience, a life-and-business enhancing coaching program, can manifest their way to me… my friends, the possibilities are endless. But you end them before they begin if you limit your thoughts, if you halt your efforts, if you fall victim to distraction, if you don’t believe just how magically powerful you are.

I believe in you… and I do believe that 7-year-old me who just knew she would own a Guns N’ Roses Appetite for Destruction pinball machine one day will be jumping for joy in the next few years… I’m making it happen.

 

Ready to start manifesting magic in your life? It’s time for a call, my friend.

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Believe Coaching Energy Healing Purpose Teacher Life Young Living

The Essence

In the gaps of time this weekend, I’m watching season three of Netflix’s Atypical, a show that has given me more perspective about teaching individuals with Autism than any graduate or professional development course ever did. In the episode I finished this morning, protagonist Sam is tasked with an assignment about essence. Specifically, he has to depict the essence of a chosen animal, not just draw what the animal looks like. This throws his logical mind into chaos. Just what is the essence of a penguin?

As the episode spun on, I got to thinking about the little amber glass bottles that sit atop by bathroom counter, aside my kitchen sink, inside of a pouch in my purse and upon my desk and my bedside table. Essential oils. The essence of plants, some singular, some blended, all simply the best. I wasn’t surprised when Sam’s art teacher rolled on some lavender essential oil, saying it calms him. Girl… if you only knew what these essences have done for me.

Don’t get it twisted—the contents of these bottles cannot treat, diagnose, cure a darn thing. What they have done for me… how do I put this? The essence of these plants help me to slow down, look around and see this life for what it really is… and just how sweet it can be, if we chose to participate from that perspective. These aromatic liquids have been a tool for me to ground into my body and to use my senses and my higher faculties with clarity. They’ve reminded me that I don’t have to sprint through life complaining from Sunday through Thursday like so many choose to do. They’ve allowed me to find a way through the mind mess and into a place of peace… and they help bring me back into alignment when I fall away from that peace.

As Sam searched for the essence of his chosen penguin using his thoughts, his notebook and the support of his teacher, family and best friend as tools along the way, I couldn’t help but think of my journey, searching for the essence of me, of how I want to show up and serve in this world. I use my thoughts, I have many notebooks and I am surrounded by incredibly supportive people, many of whom I met through the essential oil community. I look up from my laptop and see these little bottles, donning labels like Humility, Acceptance and Hope, like Light the Fire, Sacred Frankincense and Harmony, like Lemon, Geranium and Peppermint… the essence of these plants helping me get to the essence of who I am, what I want and how I want to be in this world.

Take a moment today. Breathe deeply. Close those beautiful eyes. Listen to you. What is at your core? Drop the “stuff” and get down to the essence. Give yourself permission to shine in that truth.

And, if you need help getting down to it… I sure have a way to help you. Much love.

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Bunnies Energy Purpose

Hoppy 8th Birthday Peanut!

Our little monster turned 8 this past week. He may be cruising into his senior years, but he hasn’t slowed down a bit! He runs his laps around the couch, often to evade me. He chews holes in the corners of the couch cushions. He’s still working on remodeling the molding between the living room and entrance way.

And I love him more and more every day.

He’ll probably never be a snuggle bunny. Most rabbits aren’t, despite their stuffed animal-esque appearance. But Peanut has mellowed a bit in his advancing age. I get bitten far less often than before. I must admit, even when the bites were more frequent, they were never unprovoked. He never attacks without cause, unless of course you’re an aromatic piece of hay or frond of parsley.

Peanut has been spending a lot more time on the couch than he used to. When he perches on the arm rest, I do get a little nervous… but he gets his balance talent from me and his explorative nature from the Bunny Daddy.

We didn’t do much to celebrate his 8th birthday in particular because we’ve learned to celebrate every single day, not just the designated occasions.

When we lost his brother Tater Tot, two years ago this Tuesday (wow that was alliterative), I became very resentful and mad at myself for every moment I spent looking at my dumb phone rather than paying attention to Tater. I regretted every second that I spend engaged in something inane when I could have been snuggling the Tot. I can’t get that time back.

In the heartbreak, I gained understanding and awareness. From that awareness, I make an effort to be more present with Peanut and with everyone in my life. It’s a practice, not a perfect. I sometimes find myself caught up in the inconsequential, the mindless scrolling more often than I like, but I realign quickly and forgive myself.

Now, if you’ll forgive me, I have an 8-year-old fluffy bunny to attend to. Much love.

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Believe Coaching Energy Purpose

Want & Feel

I’m going to push you today.

I was on a call with my coach on Friday and she presented us with an idea that has been swirling around my head ever since:

Are you doing what you want or are you doing what you feel like?

Follow me here… because those two things often aren’t the same, particularly if you’re not getting the results you want in your personal or professional life.

You want toned abs. You feel like lying on the couch and watching season 5 of Schitt’s Creek again. So you lie on the couch. You tear up when David and Patrick get engaged. You look down at your belly and the thoughts flood in: I’ll never have the body I want. I can’t. I won’t. I don’t. I’m so lazy. I’m so this, that, whatever. Maybe the thoughts go into outside blame: this diet/exercise program doesn’t work. I don’t have time. I don’t have help.

And so it goes.

But in reality, dear ones, the external factors are controlled by you. You chose to do what you felt like rather than take a step toward what you say you want. No judgment. Nothing “wrong” with that… just getting aware.

I’ll run another scenario for you: You want more organization in your home. You feel like you have to go to your friend’s whatever party. And you don’t feel like paying someone to help you get organized.

So you chose to spend your time at and your money on what you think you should (or shouldn’t) and, again, you don’t get what you want.

One more scenario. I’m trying to connect with all of you here.

You want a romantic relationship. You don’t feel like meeting new people. You don’t feel like “putting yourself out there.”

Another week/month/year goes by. You don’t get what you think you want because you’re choosing to do what you feel like rather than go toward what you want.

 

And I get it. A lot of the things that we want are big, scary, out of our comfort zones, require us to stretch and change… so we sit in the pocket of what we feel like rather than aligning what we feel and what we want to achieve.

A lot of these things that we want require or simply come to us with more ease if we ask for or pay for help, but we feel like we shouldn’t be vulnerable or shouldn’t spend our money this way.

I said I was going to push you today, so here it goes. Today, just get aware of what you want, what you feel and what you’re doing. You don’t have to make a change, unless you’re called to do so. Just examine it today.

I suspect there are some really bright light bulbs going off for you.

If you’ve gained any awareness today, email me: believeinbunnies@gmail.com

I’d love to hear your stories!

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