Missing Piece

I am no longer allowing this missing piece translate to missing peace.  I am telling a new story.  You are the first to hear about it.  Grateful to you for “listening” today.

I’ve been holding back from truly stepping into a component of this work and of my personal development because there is a piece to my story that I’m not ready or maybe not willing to tell.  I struggle with the idea of telling my story without telling that story.  Can I be authentic and leave out a big piece?  My answer to that was no.  I’ve held back so much because I didn’t think I could share my light fully without sharing that piece.  And I do not want to share that piece.  I’m not going to share that piece.  There’s no secret link embedded here.  I’m not going to do a big reveal at the end of this entry.  These types of thoughts and the struggle arriving here has robbed me of some peace and have stunted my healing.  Thus, I’ve felt stunted in sharing healing.  It’s cyclical.

As I sat down to write to you today (or do I write this to me and you just peek over my shoulder?) I opened to a page in my notes from the Spirit Junkie Master Class that I attended last June.  On that pink page I wrote, “Be not afraid— be empowered.”  Gabrielle taught us how our inner guides are begging use to release our resistance.  I’m sure hearing that six months ago, I interpreted that as a call to reveal my missing piece.  Now, I see it as permission to release the expectation of telling it all, the expectation of being as transparent as many others seem to be.  Gabrielle taught us to step into the darkness so we can dive into the light.  I am.  I am finding my peace privately.  I can do that and still share healing publicly.  Today I give myself that permission.

Gabrielle imparted on us, her Spirit Junkie disciples, that we look at our stories from a place of power.  My missing piece deals a lot with shame and guilt.  I will find the power.  You all help to lift me up.  Forever grateful.  Big stuff coming… Much love.

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Yes

For those who’ve been following the tale: I didn’t finish the book before book club, but the 200 pages I read were more enjoyable than I thought they were going to be.

Just another lesson in being open, in saying “Yes!” to what presents itself.  I never would have picked up that particular book, but a beautiful friend presented it as our first selection for our new book club.  Beyond the emotional journey of reading it (if you really know me, you know I’d love nothing more than to stay home all day, every day and read), flicking through those pages allowed me to connect with some sweet and smart women on Friday evening.  Two of my bunny family, plus multi-generational representation from one of their families, great conversation, connection—much more spiritually fulfilling than my typical Friday night falling asleep on the couch while watching vintage seasons of RHONY.

I’ve been saying yes more these past few weeks.  It’s one of my “challenges.”  Some people do squat challenges or cut out sugar for 30 days type challenges; I give myself personal growth challenges.  Saying yes and being more flexible is the theme of this current phase in my personal growth and development.  I’m stretching myself to change or make plans last minute, to break one of my Cardinal Rules and leave the house on Sunday (only for VERY good reasons, should they arise) and to stay up past 8:30pm on a work night (again, the good reason rule comes into play).

I broke the bedtime rule last Thursday and spent the evening in Manhattan with four gorgeous friends and my mentor Gabrielle Bernstein.  I’m breaking the bedtime rule this coming Tuesday to see Marilyn Manson.  Yes, you can be a Spirit Junkie and enjoy some dark music—it’s all about balance, my loves.  These rules, and the bending of them, may seem trivial to the less wound and regulated but to me, these are some huge shifts!

Yes, I have a lot of rules for myself.  I’m super-structured, regimented to an extreme at times.  I attribute my success to my discipline and my grit.  As strange as it may sound, I’m disciplining myself to be a little less disciplined.  But fear not, I’ll still be here every Sunday (or thereabouts) with you.  Much love.

Amira

“They” say the energy goes where it needs to go—distance and time are not limitations, unless you treat them that way.  I’ve done my share of Distance Reiki sessions and I often “channel” furbabies from afar, but last weekend was my first official leap around the world: a Reiki session with a doggy in Australia!

I met Amira’s mom through an online spiritual business group.  We scheduled our session (after I was able to wrap my head around the time difference!) a few days in advance and I was ever-so excited to work with this cute pup.  About a half an hour before our session commenced, I sat in meditation to connect with Amira and her mom’s energy.  I anointed myself with Believe essential oil blend, my signature scent.  I connected with three concepts, restlessness, the number 3 and thoughtfulness, which I presented to Amira’s mom at the start of our session.

We joined together via Zoom at the appointed time, breakfast for them, almost bedtime for me and I explained how I “work” and get messages.  We talked about the restlessness I picked up on through my channeling, probably not uncommon for dogs in general, but Amira’s mom connected to my description.  The number 3, a beautifully spiritual number, didn’t particularly stand out to her but we let that be.  Then the thoughtfulness… I got the “message” that Amira is thoughtful, like if she were a person, she would be the type who remembers everyone’s birthdays.  Her mom liked that!  Super sweet.

Amira’s mom asked me to check in on Amira’s anxiety, particularly when she leaves the house, to make sure she’s comfortable and drinking her water.  From there, I started my direct work with Amira, who lied casually across her bed.  Starting with her crown, I felt pressure (but not pain!) and was compelled to send the word “freedom.”  I sensed a favoring of her left side and she “told” me that she likes to have her right ear scratched!

Amira transitioned into her mom’s lap at some point during our session, still comfortable and soaking in the vibes.  When working on her throat chakra, she acknowledged that she knows her mom listens to her—how beautiful!  Moving to her heart, I felt a darkness.  In our post-session conversation, I assured mom that this was NOT something scary or bad, but just something to keep an eye on, be open to… maybe get her a green toy, something to connect with the heart chakra.  On to the solar plexus, Amira feels safe and heard.  She feels a best friend energy with her mom and likes to be reminded of that.

Toward the close of our session, I connected strongly to Amira’s root chakra, checking in on the concerns mom expressed before we got started.  Amira knows she will be with her mom forever and she grips onto their relationship.  She also “showed” me the number 4.  I closed the session, beaming tons of love, light and energy for the greatest good of Amira, her family and their home.  I shared what I “heard” and “got” through the Reiki with Amira’s mom and thanked her for this opportunity to work together.  A beautiful family, a beautiful session.  Much Love.

Valerie

I don’t do diapers, but I’ll gladly do litter boxes.  We bunny-sat for Valerie this weekend.  Call her a BWB (big white bunny), REW (rudy-eyed white), but the most fitting label for her is Snuggle Bunny!  This girl can cuddle for hours.  It’s kind of funny—people, especially those with kids, who inquire about adopting a rabbit often think they want a dwarf or other small rabbit.  Here’s where it gets funny… the little ones usually aren’t the cuddly ones!  The BWBs and REWs, in my modest five+ years experience are the lovers.  The little guys just want to get away from you (with some exceptions of course).

BWBs are the hidden gem of the companion animal world.  They are puppy-like, without the need for outdoor walks and pooper-scoopers.  They are sweet and playful.  They are abundant in love and cuteness.

Valerie snuggled with me more from Friday to Sunday than my boys have for the entirety of 2017.  I was able to read a book next to her without her trying to eat it—Peanut and Tater have “personalized” many novels.  Valerie is one the neatest rabbits I have ever encountered, and I handle, on average, 15 rabbits per week.  She made one, yes one, “bunny button” outside of her litter box over the three days she was here.  Unfamiliar environment, unfamiliar rugs, still neat.  She’s a dream come true with big ol’ ears.  And you should see those binkies!

Falling in line with how things go around here, Valerie loves the Bunny-Daddy far more than she loves me.  I clean; he feeds.  The logic is there.  She and I would be in the thick of a 20+ minute patting session… then the door would open.  Footsteps on the stairs to the lower level.  And she would bolt away from, poised at the far end of the double-pen, waiting for her new bestie to come for a visit.  Forget me—Bunny-Daddy is here.  Thanks, girl.

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Bunny-Daddy and his favorite girl

We absolutely loved having her here and begrudgingly gave her back to her wonderful family last night.  They’ve become great friends of ours, just like you parents with human children make mom and dad friends.  They get us.  And I try not to get jealous of how perfect their little angel is while I’m cleaning up hundreds of stray “bunny buttons” in our living room.

Valerie’s parents, thank you for sharing her with us for the weekend.  She’s welcome back here, any time.  Much love.

More about Masterclass

Gabby tells us to step in fully.  And I’ve been doing that, every day.  I’m stepping in and up, creating opportunities for growth in the day-job realm, going big in Rescue, arms locked with the most dedicated team, and establishing weekly classes for the summer to share our incredible wellness products.  I’ve stepped in fully, basking in the light from root to crown.

Today, I want to share a few more sparkly gems from my massive collection of notes from our Spirit Junkie Masterclass:

  • Lean into appreciation when you see yourself comparing.

Especially when we are flicking through our social media feeds, it is easy to start comparing, which breeds judgement, envy, annoyance, a host of negative emotions.  When you catch yourself comparing her experience, her presentation of her relationship, her possessions, etc. to yours, lean into appreciation instead.  Stop.  Breathe.  Be happy and proud for your friend (and if she’s not your friend, why are you looking at her stuff?).  Find gratitude and appreciation for what you have and what you are experiencing.  Make and execute a plan for change and growth for yourself.  Appreciate your opportunities rather than compare and judge.

  • A movement within creates a movement in the world.

We are making a difference.  It’s easy to miss that, especially if you watch “the news.”  But I know darn well that the light I stand in and spread to everyone I come into contact with is facilitating positivity.  It’s a domino effect, in a good way.  Is there a term for that, because domino effect is making me think things are falling down?  I haven’t had my coffee yet.  But you get me.  Make one person smile and they make another person smile.  It’s network marketing for the spirit.

  • Outside resistance reflects our inner resistance. Dissolve it with love.

When you are getting push-back, when doors aren’t opening up for you, when stuff seems impossible… all that is holding you back or telling you no or standing in your way starts from within.  When we are faced with rejection and we let that stop us, that stems from inner resistance.  When nothing seems to be going our way externally, that is rooted in something internal.  But please don’t blame yourself or beat yourself up.  Find that inner resistance and dissolve it with love.  Literally sit down, close those pretty eyes, and envision that inner resistance.  Give it a face or a symbol.  Then envision surrounding it with love, pouring love all over it and through it.  Dissolve it with that love.

Oh!  Now I’m inspired to lead a guided meditation and/or Aroma Freedom Technique session about dissolving our inner resistance with love… let’s make this happen.

Much love.

masterclass stuff

Masterclass

Where do I even begin?  Maybe this will be a 12-part miniseries…

I am a certified Spirit Junkie.  I completed the level one Spirit Junkie Masterclass training with Gabrielle Bernstein.  Friday, Saturday and Sunday surrounded with like-minded, amazing women and men.  On Sunday during the lunch break, I texted one of my dearest friends to tell her that although I was ready to come home, I never wanted to leave how I was feeling, never wanted to leave the place my heart, soul, spirit and mind were in.  Talk about pure bliss…

Masterclass cert

So I’ll grace you with some of the highlights from my 37 pages of notes.  Forgive me if some of my words and some of the speakers’ words blend together.  I tried to paraphrase and quote with accuracy, as my formal training dictates but in the flow of the weekend, some elements mushed together.  And believe that I feel a shift for which words will do no justice.

In her opening talk, Gabby circled around humility, love and transformation.  She, in certain terms, told us all that we have to do this work and must step in fully. She prompted us to lean into appreciation when we see ourselves comparing our journeys, our experiences and our concepts with those of others.  Powerfully and frequently throughout the weekend, Gabby urged us to be unapologetic about what we’re here to do.

Proudly, I introduced myself as an animal Reiki practitioner and rescuer to my new-found sisters—I didn’t hide behind the day job (but shout out to the Spirit Junkie who described herself on mic as a spiritual teacher disguised as a school teacher… because I’m so using that line!).  I’m fully stepping in.

And as I sit here, I realize that it is time to fully step out.  I am tired.  So there’s just a taste, a teaser of sorts, just the opening chapter… stay tuned for the next installment.  Much love.