Believe In Bunnies

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Believe Bunnies Energy Healing Purpose Reiki Rescue Uncategorized

Friends? Friends.

It wasn’t that long ago when I had no friends. I can remember the first time I said it out loud. It felt… shameful. It felt embarrassing, even though I was saying it to the Bunny Daddy, a man I can say anything to, without judgment.

Yeah, there were people around… but I felt alone. That theme wove itself through my story over the years. I would do anything to pull in anyone, nice and close, trying to fight the feeling of loneliness… desperately trying to find acceptance.

I can look back and realize that there was no way I was going to find authentic friendships when I wasn’t being authentic with myself.

The turning point came right around the time when I said it out loud: I have no friends. That also came in a tornado of being miserable at work and having no hobbies, pastimes or things to do that brought me joy. At all. I was a literal ball of tears on our living room floor.

I cracked open and let the light flood in. I took steps, small at first, to find a sense of peace in my head. I started volunteering, not to fill the time, not even for a second considering that I would make friends that way—just volunteering to help a little rescue group with a big mission. I found that my weekly volunteer hours were times where my anxious feelings were non-existent. I found a place to let my gifts (organization being one) shine.

I started listening to myself more, giving myself that permission and honing that skill through holistic and “alternative” routes like Reiki, yoga, therapy… getting down to it. Facing and embracing what made me feel good, great and beyond. Dropping the need to fit in, to live someone else’s dream, to fit an image that felt suffocating.

As I listened to and “found” me, some darn wonderful people started to show up. I often say to them, when they compliment my growth and my courage, that I am merely a reflection of them. And I mean that they can only see and love this light in me because it is a light that shines in them too.

Last night, I celebrated by 37th birthday. The girl who had no friends is now the woman who was surrounded by 16 women, each blazing their own gorgeous, inspiring trail. I know they love me. Despite the size of the group surrounding me over the years or the length of time we were “friends,” I never knew that for sure before. But these women… they love me. And I love me.

A big cheers to the rest of the crew who couldn’t join us last night… I am utterly amazed by the quantity and the quality of friends that are in my life—all because I took (and still take) the time to find my joy and purpose. Much love.

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Believe Energy Healing Purpose Young Living

Why. My Young Living Story.

Why… because I can’t not.

Ooooooooo the English teacher just rocked a double negative!

Because I don’t define myself as an English teacher. I am not my job. But society will try to force you into labeling and identifying as what you do.

That never sat right with me and, for years, I wouldn’t tell people my profession. It felt like one of those Halloween masks from the early 80s, the plastic ones with the uncomfortable, thin elastic band around the back and the barely-there cutouts for breathing. They don’t make those masks anymore… for a reason.

Like those masks, the school system feels stifling to me. The prospect of working at this job for 30+ years as is, following everyone else’s way, put a literal lump in my throat and a clawing in my stomach. Try feeling like that every day. Maybe you already do…

I needed something else, something different. But I didn’t have a clue what or how.

I could resign myself to keep at what I was doing and consequently feeling how I was feeling or I could make a change. I didn’t think I could or should change my job. I decided I could and would change myself.

I remembered how much better I felt physically and mentally when I practiced yoga after graduating from college so I found a yoga studio near our house. There, I met my acupuncturist. During our sessions, she used Young Living oils. I was feeling more and more peace with every healing I experienced.

I couldn’t take those needles home but I could take those little brown bottles with the colorful labels home. I ordered a Premium Starter Kit. I enrolled in Essential Rewards the next day. I ordered a kit for my father the next day. I was all in.

The more at peace I felt, the more energy I had, the more people began to ask what changed. There was no missing and no denying that I’d shifted.

I shared about the oils and products just like I would share about a delicious new restaurant I found or a hilarious new show I stumbled across. Some friends wanted what I had. I was in business.

From this business, I’ve found community. I found people who are authentic. I can say, without hesitation, that I am happy. Happy… a simple word for a multi-faceted concept. If I, a woman who was in physical pain from emotional conditions, could feel happy, vibrant, powerful… how could I keep that from people?

I share Young Living because it led me to feeling free, free from the pressures placed on me by a system that doesn’t serve me, from pressures that I placed upon myself to be the best to have the best and to never take off the mask of achievement. Like I mentioned earlier, those stifling plastic Halloween masks have been banned and are long-forgotten. Through the community of wellness, purpose and abundance that I found in Young Living, I learned to take off my metaphorical mask and to breathe in the real me, a real space in this world to grow and flourish. Today, my mask is off and I face the world, and myself, with authentic happiness.

I want to see you with a smile on your face that rivals the one on mine right now. Believe in your happiness.

Come with us.

You are worthy.

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Believe Energy Healing Purpose Reiki

Radical Trust

On Saturday, I woke up without a clenched jaw for the first time in decades. Hot, right?

Grinding one’s teeth is hereditary in the B. family. I recall my mother saying my father and I would keep her up at night, he next to her and me a flight of stairs away, grinding our teeth “in stereo.” It didn’t bother me when I was younger though.

Sometime during my first year of teaching, the teeth grinding got worse. I saw my primary care doctor, a specialist and my dentist. My dentist, whom I adore, said this behavior was all stress-related, so I asked him when it would stop. He said, “When you’re not stressed anymore.” He took a mold and had a fancy night guard made custom night guard for me (sorry to be so alluring again). I wore it maybe twice. None of the three professionals I saw suggested tackling the stress, as if the only option was to stay stressed forever. With that stress came a tightness and clenching of my jaw and the possible ruination of my teeth. But this was just the way it was, so I was led to believe. We work, we live on a busy island, so we must be stressed. Some people drink. Some people hike. I clench and bear it.

7 or 8 years ago, I started wearing the night guard more consistently. Judging by how quickly I wore through one (again, really glamorizing my existence), the grind was still in full effect, even though I don’t consciously feel as stressed as I did at the beginning of my career. Some holistic treatments offer some relief but not fully. I resigned myself to thinking that I would forever have some form of this tension, clenching, sometimes sprinkled with a festive clicking.

Night guard

Just the case… I’ll spare you the actual guard.

I receive a Reiki treatment once a month from my healer. As this month’s appointment approached, my intuition told me to text her and ask to change the appointment to a hypnotherapy session. I wasn’t sure why or even what we would be working on but I went with it. The Universe has my back. Friday after work, I arrived at Lisa’s office. We talked; we got down to it. Intuition told me to talk about the jaw pain and the teeth grinding. Lisa worked her magic. Through our session, I got to another level of understanding of myself, my habits, and my paradigms. I can barely put words to it but Friday afternoon was definitely a mark on the timeline of my life.

One thing I can share with you about my discovery through this session: I finally made the connection as to why I have a hard time counting on people. In our post-session conversation, Lisa used the phrase “radical trust.” I’m pretty sure she used in it reference to a trust I need to have in myself and in the universe, but I know that the third piece to that is having radical trust in the people around me… as long as I surround myself with “right” people. It’s all coming together.

I woke up on Saturday without jaw pain and without my tongue forced to the roof of my mouth (Check in on yours and peel it free now. Relax, breathe. You’re just reading a blog). I know that the strides I made, facilitated by my healer, freed me. It’s a step, not the whole journey, but an important step nonetheless. I will not resign myself to subconscious stress, just because that’s the way most people choose to live. I have radical trust in myself, in my work… and I’m working on having radical trust in all of you, too. Much love.

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Believe Purpose

Celebrating 41 Years

You would think that the little girl from the picture-perfect family would want to be a grown-up married woman. Marriage has never been a dream of mine, in the official sense. Yes, loyal readers, you know there’s a Bunny-Daddy and it’s a solid union… we just aren’t the paperwork type. That said, I attribute much of who I am and what I do to what I’ve learned from my parents’ marriage.

Tomorrow, my parents celebrate 41 years married. They “tied the knot” on my father’s 22nd birthday. 43 years together, 41 years married… they are the best of friends. I consider them my greatest teachers, as individuals and as a union.

The biggest lesson I take from my parents’ partnership is one of independence and support.  To my knowledge, one has never stopped the other from doing something or going somewhere or buying something. They enrich each other. They have each other’s back, always. I’m sure they’ve made sacrifices for each other and there have undoubtedly been compromises over the span of four decades.

Even in moments of discontent, there is always kindness and respect. I have never heard one call the other an unkind name. This is no “Brady Bunch” moment; it’s just what they’ve shown me is love. It’s the standard I learned to set for myself from watching and absorbing their example. I do acknowledge that I lack my mother’s patience and fairness, but she’s a Libra and the oldest of four children; I’m an Aries and an only child!

Last week, they came over to hang some art and a bulletin board in the room in which I sit as I write this to you. To watch them work together is kind of magical. They are a true team. They just make sense together. Like the kids say, they are relationship goals. Four decades and they still enjoy each other’s company. Four decades and they laugh more together than any other couple I know.

My mother will tell you that it takes work every single day. If you stop working, it’s over. If you ever have the honor to witness just how truly happy they are, how each other’s company truly uplifts them, I can tell you that the work has been worth it for them. The respect they have for themselves and for each other is what I attribute my independence to. I know that, with or without a partner, I am capable of absolutely anything. While they’ve had each other since they were practically children, my mother 2 months shy of 20 when they married, they are two individuals who make a pair, not two halves that create whole.

They lift each other up. They are a force when they’re together. Happy 41st Anniversary, Mom and Dad.

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Believe Bunnies Purpose Rescue Uncategorized

Big Picture Master

A few weeks ago, I was asked to give a talk on organization to a group of entrepreneurs in the wellness lifestyle industry.  In pure irony, the notes I prepared for this talk look like a scrambled ramble of ideas.  The organizer appears messy but gets it all done.  Here are some gems from my notes for you, dear readers:

The key to my success: I know exactly what I want and I let NOTHING get in my way.

I’m a Big Picture Master, a Results-Driven Red (see The Four Color Personalities for MLM by “Big Al”).

I know nothing about running a non-profit organization, but I make a non-profit run.

Take an honest look at yourself and your habits or get a coach to assist you in doing that— it is from here that you get organized.

It’s really cute when people tell you to follow your dream or your vision if you don’t know yet what that is—it’s like telling kids in school to pay attention without ever teaching them to pay attention.  Check out Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic for more about this.

Play to your strengths.  Not mine.

I’m never going to be a runner but I run s…

You don’t get organized from a book or from anyone else’s system, if you want to lead.  I don’t know how to get your organized until you know your vision.

Once you have your vision, your dream, your goal, then (and not a moment before) you need:

-executable steps.

-consistency and routines.

-to stop doing stuff that doesn’t work.

For me, it’s committing one hour per day to my business, regardless of how active the day job and/or Rescue was that day, it’s keeping a consistent schedule and it’s TONS of personal development.  That’s how I stay organized.  That’s how I’m the Big Picture Master.  That’s how wellness, abundance and purpose continue to flow freely to me and my family.  Much love.

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Believe Healing meditation Purpose Uncategorized

Retreat Yourself

In late June 2014, I wrote a note in my phone of three simple “I am” statements to set the tone for my summer.  Pushing aside the millions of things to get done and ways to make two months off from the day job count, I set these “I am” statements at the core of my desires for that time.  At the heart of all of the “stuff” I had to do and wanted to do that summer, my true intentions were in these “I am” statements.  I typed:

I am

-reading.

-practicing yoga.

-mindful.

I didn’t even know what mindful meant or why I typed it— it just appeared there on the screen.  I am mindful… ok.  Let that sit.

I found a yoga studio near to where we were living.  I signed up for a month unlimited and then another month unlimited.  I took classes 3-5 times per week for the entire summer.  I am practicing yoga…  finally.  For months before that, I was thinking about it.  And I was telling myself that I “should” be practicing yoga.  But I never seemed to quite get around to it.  I let everything else jump the line and take up my precious time.  All it took was setting that clear intention: I am practicing yoga.  Like magic, I was.

I found two teachers whose style and energy matched what I was seeking in my practice and made darn sure to show up at their classes.  I dove all in, as I’m prone to do.  One of those teachers offered free guided meditation after classes, as the schedule allowed.  I stayed.  She shared about her practices, her studies through UMass. Medical School in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and her “real life” applications of these simple-yet-complex practices.  She had something here.  I hung on every word.

A friendship blossomed.  At the time, I hadn’t consciously revisited my note in my phone with my summer intentions, my “I am” statements.  But I was learning about mindfulness, that word I typed without knowing why.  My new mediation coach and friend recommended books that she was reading.  We started to hang out.  We shared this glorious spark of brilliance.  I knew I found a soul sister in Debbie.  Toward the end of August 2014, while rolling up my yoga mat after one of Debbie’s last yoga classes for the summer, I opened the notes in my phone… and there it was: I am mindful.  I manifested a practice, a coach and a friend with three words.  Don’t question the process.  Be open to being guided.  Set the intentions that are in your heart and take the action steps as they unfold.

This past Thursday, I had the honor of sitting at a full-day retreat of over 100 educators led by my soul sister Debbie and her colleague in mindfulness Cory.  They led us through the practices and applications of this life-saving, life-expanding gift called Mindfulness.  They are the real-deal.  I, who often cannot exhale without checking my phone 17 times, did not even check the time from 7:30 am until 4:35 pm.  That’s the magic that Debbie and Cory shared.

We learned about our relationship to stress, how to be with what is here, how to develop our mental fitness… I could go on and on.  I took 17 pages of notes.  But, if I can share only one take-away with you, it is this: replace resistance with curiosity.  Approach your day with an element of awe and wonder.

Debbie, I bow to you.  I am mindful.

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angels Believe Energy Healing Reiki Uncategorized

Amira

“They” say the energy goes where it needs to go—distance and time are not limitations, unless you treat them that way.  I’ve done my share of Distance Reiki sessions and I often “channel” furbabies from afar, but last weekend was my first official leap around the world: a Reiki session with a doggy in Australia!

I met Amira’s mom through an online spiritual business group.  We scheduled our session (after I was able to wrap my head around the time difference!) a few days in advance and I was ever-so excited to work with this cute pup.  About a half an hour before our session commenced, I sat in meditation to connect with Amira and her mom’s energy.  I anointed myself with Believe essential oil blend, my signature scent.  I connected with three concepts, restlessness, the number 3 and thoughtfulness, which I presented to Amira’s mom at the start of our session.

We joined together via Zoom at the appointed time, breakfast for them, almost bedtime for me and I explained how I “work” and get messages.  We talked about the restlessness I picked up on through my channeling, probably not uncommon for dogs in general, but Amira’s mom connected to my description.  The number 3, a beautifully spiritual number, didn’t particularly stand out to her but we let that be.  Then the thoughtfulness… I got the “message” that Amira is thoughtful, like if she were a person, she would be the type who remembers everyone’s birthdays.  Her mom liked that!  Super sweet.

Amira’s mom asked me to check in on Amira’s anxiety, particularly when she leaves the house, to make sure she’s comfortable and drinking her water.  From there, I started my direct work with Amira, who lied casually across her bed.  Starting with her crown, I felt pressure (but not pain!) and was compelled to send the word “freedom.”  I sensed a favoring of her left side and she “told” me that she likes to have her right ear scratched!

Amira transitioned into her mom’s lap at some point during our session, still comfortable and soaking in the vibes.  When working on her throat chakra, she acknowledged that she knows her mom listens to her—how beautiful!  Moving to her heart, I felt a darkness.  In our post-session conversation, I assured mom that this was NOT something scary or bad, but just something to keep an eye on, be open to… maybe get her a green toy, something to connect with the heart chakra.  On to the solar plexus, Amira feels safe and heard.  She feels a best friend energy with her mom and likes to be reminded of that.

Toward the close of our session, I connected strongly to Amira’s root chakra, checking in on the concerns mom expressed before we got started.  Amira knows she will be with her mom forever and she grips onto their relationship.  She also “showed” me the number 4.  I closed the session, beaming tons of love, light and energy for the greatest good of Amira, her family and their home.  I shared what I “heard” and “got” through the Reiki with Amira’s mom and thanked her for this opportunity to work together.  A beautiful family, a beautiful session.  Much Love.

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Believe Bunnies Energy Healing Purpose Reiki Rescue Uncategorized

Piper, Tyler & Remy

On Wednesday, I had the honor of sharing Reiki with a wonderful, diverse family.  When I say diverse, I’m taking size and species—a large rabbit, a tiny hamster and a typically-sized cat.  When I arrived, I spent some time talking with their mom S.  Rabbit Piper was hopping around, hamster Tyler was snuggling in my hands and cat Remy was nowhere in sight.  I explained to S. that whether Remy came out of hiding or not, he would still receive whatever energies he was open to.  Reiki is total magic like that.

I anointed my shoulders with White Angelica oil and gently rubbed a few drops of Valor oil between my palms.  S. had expressed some concern for Piper’s occasional nervous and anxious behaviors, so Valor was calling to me for this session.  I sat on the floor near to Piper’s pen with Tyler in a small cage to my left and Remy still lurking in the shadows.  Our session began with a heavy energy, but not in a bad way—more of a stable, solid kind of heavy.  I was drawn to the world “release” on repeat.  My root chakra was strongly in play here.  I felt very rooted in this environment, which is not a feeling I typically experience.  Again, the magic of Reiki:  I was “translating” the rooted, connected bond of this family.

After connecting with the energy of the space, I began to work directly with Tyler.  He “told” me the words “heal,” “peace” and “curious.”  He expressed the desire for his mom S. to read to him (totally adorable).  I was drawn to his right side and in our after-session recap I told S. to be attentive to that.

Next up, Piper, an alum from our Rescue group.  Piper didn’t want any hands-on work, which is common for prey animals.  He “told” me that he likes to hide a lot.  The energies drew my attention to his left eye, which I confirmed with S. in our recap that he had issues with that eye earlier in the year.  I had the most beautiful vision while working on Piper and his enclosure.  I don’t often see pictures through my work, as I’m more strongly claircognizant and clairsentient.  As I sent Reiki specifically to Piper’s pen, I saw what I can best describe as tubes of rainbow-colored rain with stars inside.  I invited the rainbow rain to flow through and around the home, showering the entire family and space with this stunning light and energy.  Piper came closest to me at this point.  He’s a cautiously receptive boy.  He feeds off of the energies around him.  I sent all I could to help ease his nerves.

I work mostly with my eyes closed, but they popped open at this point in our session and there was Remy.  I could feel the energy of the entire house follow Remy.  He needs to be the boss.  He came to me, close but not too close, acknowledged my presence, then walked away.  Piper quickly followed.  If Tyler wasn’t in a cage, he would have done the same.  That boss attitude—is that a cat thing in general?  Or just a Remy thing?  I’ll let S. decide how to handle that from here!

I closed the session with love, light and the greatest good for all beings and objects.  What a beautiful family and a beautiful afternoon.  Thank you S. for allowing me to share Reiki with your family.  Hoppy Birthday.  Much Love.

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angels Believe Bunnies Energy Healing Reiki Rescue Uncategorized

Snoopy & Budgie 2017

On the first day of this fresh new year, I visited Snoopy, Budgie and their mom Jean.  Budgie has been acting out a bit so Jean wanted me to check in with him and make sure all is well with him.  Before I left my house, I rubbed drops of Highest Potential essential oil over my heart and Release essential oil between my palms, just the oils I was compelled to grab in honor of my upcoming session.  Every time I’ve treated these bunny brothers, I start with Budgie (maybe next time I’ll change that up!).  Momma Jean worked on her computer, adjacent to the boys’ enclosures during our session (remember this fact for later).  Budgie was very receptive to the Reiki energy and very calm.  He “showed” me the number one, which I connected to the opening of the new year… or that he’s #1!

Budgie quickly invited me into his pen and we shared lots of hands-on energy throughout our session.  All is well with loving Budgie.  He’s a reputed kisser.  He consistently gave me three kisses, then flicked his tongue three times, left-right-left.  That might just be his habit, his tongue muscle memory… or maybe he was bringing the power of three to the forefront.  Three is pure power.  Three is divinity.

I moved on to Snoopy.  He’s a guarded little boy so I know to stay outside of his pen.  He still gets the bountiful energy and energetic benefits just as much as he would with hands-on—Reiki love and light will flow wherever it needs to, wherever it is welcome!  Snoopy stayed within his cardboard house for the duration of our session (his Snoopy house?!) but acknowledged our exchange through his grooming and sharing “messages” with me as well.  I had a sense of Jean’s mom, Snoopy and Budgie’s grandmother, and the letter M toward the end of our session.  As shielded as Snoopy can be, he is still receptive to the energy, love and light in such a beautiful way.  I feel so energized when I work with these boys!

After I closed out our session, I share the “messages” and feelings with Jean.  I felt awkward asking about her mother; while I feel spiritually connect to Jean, I still don’t know her that well!  What if this was a “bad” question to ask?  But I had to ask her anyway.  I asked if Snoopy was close with Jean’s mom or if they even knew each other.  Jean shared with me that her mother passed away six years before Snoopy came into her life.  Then she paused, took a breath and told me that she was writing a post for her own blog

while I was working with the boys.  That post is about her mother and father.

I am honored to confirm Jean’s mother’s presence.  Our loved ones are never truly gone if we just take the time to quiet our minds, remove the distractions and pay attention on purpose to the present moment.  I am not a trained medium.  But I am a true believer.  We all have these abilities and they step forward when we take the time and care to listen.  Sharing the love and light, the life-force energies with Snoopy and Budgie on the first day of what I know will be a year of beauty set a wonderful tone.  Thank you Jean.  I love you and your boys truly.

snoopy-bbf

Snoopy, photo credit: Jean

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Believe Bunnies Uncategorized

Gifts

I love giving gifts.  I guess that’s my “love language,” if you subscribe to that philosophy (remember, vintage “RHOC” with Vicki talking love languages…).  It’s not a materialistic thing; it’s a symbolic gesture.  I love giving gifts for no particular occasion, other than “I saw this and it made me think of you.”  That said, my gift giving nature was tested this holiday season.  I blame the combination of the upside-down surreal 2016 and the fact that we recently moved (as I write this, there are boxes and piles of I don’t know what to my right).  I couldn’t get a handle on time and getting the mountain of tasks done these past few weeks.  I always take on a lot, so that’s not the problem.  But I think I undervalued the magnitude of moving and just how much mental effort and physical time it would take.  Again, the curse of the achiever kicked it.

I got a handle on the gifts this year in three parts: one part obsessive organization, one part miracle, and one part best friend came down from Albany and finished all that was left undone.  Far more quickly than they were selected, purchased, wrapped and arranged, the gifts were given and floated out of my existence (except for those given to the Bunny-daddy, of course).  For those of us who take a certain kind of value in gift-giving, the exchange is the true gift.  It’s the gesture of it all.  It’s not the monetary value.  It’s not given for a subsequent lauding.  It’s the moment.  It’s the look on the receiver’s face, often times a laugh, maybe even a happy tear or two.  It’s the hug and/or the thank you card.

I love to give gifts because of the feeling in the moment.  And I love to receive them for much the same reason.  I don’t like clutter (again, it’s fairy difficult to stay focused writing this because there’s an utter mess to my right!) and sometimes gifts of a particular nature become clutter in my rigid world.  But I will always love the gesture and the symbolism of gifting and that supersedes the clutter.

I have a lot of gifts, as in abilities.  I use them, I share them and I proudly kick ass with them.  I gave a lot of gifts over the past few days, although with the typical holiday whirlwind combined with 2016’s wrath, I don’t know if I let myself feel the moment enough!  Again, putting pressure on myself… that’s a trait that I need to hone into a gift.  And if history’s any teacher, I can make that happen.

Fans, friends, loves… I must go tackle the piles of stuff, some gifts and some not.  Enjoy the magic of giving.  Much love. peanut-christmastater-christmas

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