I’m telling on myself today. A friend who is relatively new to the DB Fam called me yesterday. For every ounce Out There, Open and Tell It Like It Is that I am, she is Reserved, Private and Keep It to Yourself in counterbalance. I take our new-found friendship not only as a treasure but as lessons for me to learn to protect and preserve myself and my energies.
While we were on the phone, New Friend asked me a question about someone we both know. Not a gossipy question or even a judgmental question—just a question. And there I went, shady as all get out in my answer. The words felt icky coming out of my mouth… yet there they tumbled.
Our conversation ended shortly after. I felt unsettled with myself, as I spoke from a place of spiritual misalignment. There was nothing in my response that was constructive, helpful or even that answered her originally question. I caught myself falling off of the Judgment Detox wagon. Old me would have relished in the negativity. Current me corrected course with humility.
I texted New Friend and said, “I feel like I was super negative. I apologize.” I then answered her original question with a more appropriate, yet still honest answer (all of this personal development has not taken away my honesty!). I started to justify and judge myself in reaction. I even wrote, “Insecure low moment.” All of my Spiritual Running Buddies who are reading this are yelling at the screen for me to witness my judgment without judgment. I hear you.
It’s a work in progress. It’s a practice. I’m proud of myself for sharing the missteps with you, dear readers. I teach this work. I live this work. And foundationally, I do this work… so it’s not a perfect dance for me where I slay every step. It might not ever be. I decided to tell on myself to you today because I grow when I share the journey and because I’m so grateful for the lessons that New Friend imparts on me through her kindness and the way she protects her own energy with ease. Much love.
