Believe In Bunnies

Browsing Tag:

health

Believe Coaching Energy Healing Purpose

Spirit Junkie Live, Part 1

I had the blessing to work with one of my greatest teachers Gabby Bernstein earlier this month. I got that blessing by saying yes to what my heart and mind called for, rather than make excuses or sit on the curb, eating a plant-based sandwich, watching opportunity cruise on by.

You gotta go for it, my friends. Buy the ticket. Get on the train. Sign up for the course. Just go for it. The resources are there. They’re wherever they are now… and they are on their way to you, if you truly align with your desire (and if you’re already lost, it’s time to set up a call with me!).

To sit in the audience and be led by Gabby is nothing short of magic. Loyal readers know I’ve written about this several times (and expect more because we have VIP tickets to Gabby’s Super Attractor book tour in NYC next month). So, dear ones, here are my three bestest takeaways from the morning session of Spirit Junkie Live.

  1. Confidence comes from my ability to rely on a power greater than me.

Gabby opened up the morning with an anecdote about confidence, weaving the tale to define confidence as I’ve noted above. Often we mistake dominance or showing off for confidence. The loudest person in the room isn’t the most confident. We know this logically, but emotionally or subconsciously, we sometimes find ourselves playing small or leaving the situation entirely when the loud one starts up.

Reprogramming time: Let them do their thing and you do yours with your quiet, humble, calm confidence. You got this… and you don’t need to scream or overshare about it.

  1. Sometimes you have to show up broken.

Real talk. No filter. Zero Fs. All of these colloquialisms we use… and then we hide our reality in shame. We only post perfectly staged pictures. We back out of commitments if we aren’t at perfection. We hide our tough times, even from our inner circle. Gabby said, “Don’t be ashamed of your difficult times. It’s a disservice to the world when we allow our shame to keep us silent.”

Reprogramming time: Get real with yourself first, then release and share when you are ready. Let go of the need to call yourself stupid and feel embarrassed if you took your receipt but left your purchases on the counter at Staples on Thursday (me). Now, I know that’s not technically a broken moment… but I felt ashamed when that happened. I’m the one who teaches people to pay more mindful attention to their lives and I was so distracted that I left my construction paper and markers (I swear I teach high school) on the counter. I felt so dumb that I almost didn’t go back for the stuff. I seriously contemplated leaving it, even knowing in my conscious mind that no one in Staples knows or cares who I am and that leaving something behind is not a big deal. At all. But the thought of going back triggered my need to appear a certain kind of put-together.

I used my coaching skills on myself, talked it out with my best friend and ultimately went back to the store. The action of picking up the purchase was nothing— the broken was in the mind-mess that cropped up. I’m certainly not “fixed” now, but I feel like a piece was put into place by the mind work that happened around this moment.

  1. Scarcity of any commodity is an illusion.

This gem of wisdom came from Gabby’s coach Rha Goddess. We are abundant, people! Stop feigning like you don’t have time, like you can’t sleep, like there isn’t enough money. When you rock that mindset, more scarcity comes to you. We are programmed to be busy, tired and broke… but Rha said that’s all an illusion and if you’ve ever heard Rha speak, you know that her words are truth.

Reprogramming time: Pick one area where you feel lack or scarcity. Take an honest look at what you have in that area and if it really needs change for you to feel better and function better. Start with affirmations. Then, maybe you’ll incorporate habit changes and formation. Like everything else, this starts in the mind, in believing you can. Rolling your eyes? Feeling defeated? Then it’s definitely time to schedule that call with me.

Click here

More from Spirit Junkie Live soon. Much love.

Continue Reading
Believe Bunnies Energy Healing Purpose Rescue

Why I Stopped Eating Meat…

and why I’ll never bug you to do the same.

You know those memories that are like movies in your head? This is one for me.

I was standing at the counter of the kitchen/living room/bunny room combo in our first house, sometimes referred to as The Little House. I was cutting a packaged chicken breast and I stopped. I looked over my right shoulder at our boy Tater Tot, our first born. The thought flashed through my mind: Why am I spending all of my free time saving one and now I’m slicing and eating another?

Taking meat out of my diet never, I mean never, occurred to me. Paradigm, our mental programming, has meat as a part of our diets. That’s just what we eat, right? I never thought about it beyond flavor and enjoyment before. It never had a face before.

At the time, I was volunteering for maybe a year or two with the Long Island Rabbit Rescue Group. At this point, I was spending 7 or more hours per week volunteering, between answering emails and phone calls, covering shifts at foster homes and other various tasks. In addition to working full-time, 7 hours is a big chunk of “free time”—that’s more time than I was watching shows on Bravo in a week! So, there I was at the counter, one hand on the chicken breast, one hand on the knife, one heart and one mind at a turning point.

From that day, I gradually removed animal products from my diet. First went the white meat, anything remotely resembling the little loves we rescue. Then, everything else started to go. I just didn’t want it anymore—just didn’t make sense for me anymore. I could no longer make a value distinction between a dog and a cow, between a rabbit and a chicken, between a cat and a pig. I value them all the same now.

And that’s just the thing. I value them… my values. And my values do not have to be yours. I will never bug you to eat the way I do. I would have never made this change and definitely would not have stuck with it so faithfully if I didn’t have a meaningful reason, a true “why” behind it all. Please, do what feels right for you. Eat foods and make choices that take you to the best version of you, that make you feel happy and energized. If you are eating something that causes you physical pain afterward, it might be time to put that down and make a different choice. And that applies to what it is and to quantity!

Making the change to a plant-based diet was far less difficult than the paradigm will have you believe. And I’m happy I made my transition before this influx of processed “vegan junk food” hitting the mainstream shelves now. Delicious, sure… but not necessarily nutritious. My label-reading-ninja skills come into play with food as much as they do with personal care and household products.

Living my life my way… and always respecting your choice to live your life your way. That’s really all it is. That’s simply why I’ll never bug you to stop eating meat, to foster an animal, to do anything that you’re not necessarily interested in doing. Trust, I am nothing but delighted when I hear that someone is making a choice that honors the life of a living thing, but I know darn well that if anyone tried to force this way of eating and thinking on to me, it would have been repulsive. To paraphrase my coach Melissa, people don’t dislike change but people do not like to be changed. And to quote the guru James Hetfield, “Life is ours… we live it our way.”

Much love.

Continue Reading
angels Believe Coaching Energy Healing Purpose Teacher Life

My Wings

Sharing one of my most vulnerable and treasured stories, originally published by University of Wellness.

I am unafraid to talk about my struggles, probably because I don’t view them as struggles, problems, hurdles or even speedbumps. They are just factors of or moments in my journey.

Do you perceive a hurdle in the distance and just stop running, for fear that you won’t clear it?

Yes? Ah… that’s what those wings are for.

A surface view of my journey looks like a fairy tale, the only child with adoring parents who, after nearly 50 years together, still hold hands with each other. The girl with the solid upbringing in a safe, middle-class town, who attended a private university and soon after graduation landed a high school teaching job on Long Island, NY… cue the Happily Ever After music.

But that’s just the surface. Do you ever feel like what your life looks like on the outside doesn’t match how you feel on the inside?

A deeper dive into my journey reveals bouts of depression (common) and living someone else’s dream (even more common– am I right?!).  I’ve been working with my therapist since 2005, when I was student teaching. I couldn’t put my finger on the problem at the time– I was supposed to be so happy, so satisfied with how everything was falling into place in my life!– but my spirit was feeling the crush of living someone else’s dream. Even as I write this, the anxious lump in my throat is returning, the lump I lived with for decades.

I was tired all of the time. I was overwhelmed. I was unsure about what I was doing and why I was spending every waking hour doing it. I see you nodding along as you read this.

14 years later and I’m stepping into my greatness. I made the conscious choice to find a better way.

In therapy, the great and patient E. guides me as I work through the “stuff.” Because I’ve committed consistently to doing the work on myself, I feel better than I ever dreamed was possible.

Now I have energy. Now “stuff” feels manageable (and I know what to do and where to healthily turn when it doesn’t). Now I am sure. Now I know my dream.

I found my wings– they were back there the whole time! Are you ready to find your wings?

Enter coaching– a modality to help harness and implement my gifts. Just like my T-ball coach helped me learn to swing a bat at 5 years old, just like my senior English teacher taught me how to “show, don’t tell” in my writing, coaches I work with now help me align my gifts and my dreams. They help me set a plan for success and accountability. They help me clear a path to fly.

Now that I think about it, I am living a fairy tale– but for the fairy tale to feel “right,” I had to position myself as the hero. I am not a character in someone else’s story. And just like in the fairy tales of our youth, the hero soars when she lets others, in those stories talking squirrels or fairy godmothers, in my story, coaches, help her plan, execute and follow through.

Now I coach to pay forward the invaluable gift that was granted to me. I am committed to helping others find their true happiness.

Much love.

~Denise

Continue Reading
Believe Coaching Energy Healing Purpose Teacher Life

Stop. Pick One.

I woke up this morning and before both feet hit the ground, my mile-long To Do list starting scrolling in my mind. Within a minute of being awake, the overwhelm kicked in and I felt like I had just so much to do that I had to start now and not stop (probably forever). I felt like I needed to take action on 10 different things immediately. You’ve felt that, right? Maybe you’re even feeling it right now.

It wasn’t easy… but I stopped myself. I pulled the emergency break on the mind mess. I decided that, if I were to get anything done today with the excellence that each task deserves, I needed to stop and take a moment, take the time to open up my best self. Less doing, more growing. Less mania, more ease. Less overwhelm, more grace. Less how, more why.

Basically, I needed to take my own advice.

So I grabbed the iPad, popped on a Yoga with Adriene class and took my first half an hour awake for me and my practice. I guarantee that taking that 27 or so minutes this morning to open my heart and hips does not translate into me getting “nothing done” today. In fact, taking that 27 minutes translates into me approaching every task I do today with greater focus and poise, the excellence that each task deserves. Hey, if it doesn’t deserve excellence, why am I taking time to do it at all?

And another secret to squashing the overwhelming the mind mess: do one thing you’ve been avoiding or putting off. Here’s a list of suggestions, if one thing doesn’t come to mind for you on your own. Pick one and do it as soon as you’re done reading this. If you’re feeling called, share with me which you’ve picked and executed.

  • Empty your purse. Clean out the non-essentials.
  • Clean out your email inbox. Delete. Delete. Delete.
  • Unsubscribe to 5 emails that you never open anyway.
  • Subscribe to my newsletter (had to throw that in there).
  • Make that call or send that text to that one friend you’ve been missing.
  • Empty the dishwasher. If yours is already empty, come empty mine.
  • Close your eyes for 4 minutes and let your mind wander.
  • Grab a book or magazine and read for 15 minutes.
  • Is it “nice” out? Walk around the block without your phone.
  • Go get that pedicure, especially if it’s nice out.

Remember, you are just picking one. No need for more overwhelm in our days!

Much love.

Continue Reading
Believe Bunnies Energy Healing Purpose Reiki Rescue Uncategorized

Friends? Friends.

It wasn’t that long ago when I had no friends. I can remember the first time I said it out loud. It felt… shameful. It felt embarrassing, even though I was saying it to the Bunny Daddy, a man I can say anything to, without judgment.

Yeah, there were people around… but I felt alone. That theme wove itself through my story over the years. I would do anything to pull in anyone, nice and close, trying to fight the feeling of loneliness… desperately trying to find acceptance.

I can look back and realize that there was no way I was going to find authentic friendships when I wasn’t being authentic with myself.

The turning point came right around the time when I said it out loud: I have no friends. That also came in a tornado of being miserable at work and having no hobbies, pastimes or things to do that brought me joy. At all. I was a literal ball of tears on our living room floor.

I cracked open and let the light flood in. I took steps, small at first, to find a sense of peace in my head. I started volunteering, not to fill the time, not even for a second considering that I would make friends that way—just volunteering to help a little rescue group with a big mission. I found that my weekly volunteer hours were times where my anxious feelings were non-existent. I found a place to let my gifts (organization being one) shine.

I started listening to myself more, giving myself that permission and honing that skill through holistic and “alternative” routes like Reiki, yoga, therapy… getting down to it. Facing and embracing what made me feel good, great and beyond. Dropping the need to fit in, to live someone else’s dream, to fit an image that felt suffocating.

As I listened to and “found” me, some darn wonderful people started to show up. I often say to them, when they compliment my growth and my courage, that I am merely a reflection of them. And I mean that they can only see and love this light in me because it is a light that shines in them too.

Last night, I celebrated by 37th birthday. The girl who had no friends is now the woman who was surrounded by 16 women, each blazing their own gorgeous, inspiring trail. I know they love me. Despite the size of the group surrounding me over the years or the length of time we were “friends,” I never knew that for sure before. But these women… they love me. And I love me.

A big cheers to the rest of the crew who couldn’t join us last night… I am utterly amazed by the quantity and the quality of friends that are in my life—all because I took (and still take) the time to find my joy and purpose. Much love.

Continue Reading
Believe Coaching Purpose

Moving into Balance

I’ve been disloyal to my yoga mat. I attend classes in spurts. Maybe yesterday was the beginning of another spurt, perhaps even the beginning of a more consistent practice—that story will unfold. What I know for sure is that I went back to yoga for the first time in a month yesterday. (Pause for applause)

Even with an inconsistent practice, I shine with balance poses (disclaimer: upright balance only. I have yet to headstand or even crow… but I’ll get there). My teacher yesterday, in a class packed as January classes can get, brought us into several balance poses. I marveled in my head at the balance I was able to produce… and then I realized my “secret”: move into the poses slowly. The slower I move into the pose, the more fully I can express it and the longer I can hold it.

As someone who barrels into most tasks, projects and endeavors, there I was on my aqua blue mat, folding and unfolding slowly, balancing beyond what my mind thought my body would be able to do. I credit that to the measured approached and:

  • the guidance of a teacher
  • openness to that guidance
  • gentleness with myself
  • acceptance of whatever product or result happens.

Let’s take it off of the mat. Whatever your goals, intentions, dreams are move into them unhurriedly and deliberately and keep taking action! I wouldn’t have left Child’s Pose without action.

Get yourself a teacher, a coach, a mentor or an accountability partner. Be clear with your goals and let them guide you. Important: Find the coach that works for YOU. My coach isn’t the right one for everyone. In turn, I’m not the right coach for everyone. Whomever you choose to work with, be open to the guidance.

Allow yourself to grow and adapt. Don’t expect to be zero to headstand in one class, one quarter or maybe even one decade. Keep your practice on your mat. Keep your goals and progress tailored to you and those you are helping with your work, should that apply. And know firmly, whether you rocked a standing split, flipped it and reversed it or you hovered your toes half an inch off of the ground, your progress is beautiful. You’re only defeated if you stop trying, if you never unroll your mat. Much love.

Continue Reading
Believe Healing Purpose Rescue Uncategorized

Who am I to…

Yesterday afternoon, I sat on a blue and teal seat, facing forward (although facing backward doesn’t bother me) on the Long Island Railroad. I was Manhattan-bound to see one of my spiritual advisors, psychic medium Calise Simone. On my journey, I read from The Gifts of Imperfection by Dr. Brene’ Brown. This is the book we’ll be discussing at book club at the end of this month. If you’re local, you should join us.

Somewhere between the Merrick and Freeport stops, I read this passage. Then I re-read it, highlighted it and wished my Kindle had a print feature. Taking a picture of the screen would have to suffice. Dr. Brown writes:

Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives. As it turns out it’s not merely benign or “too bad” if we don’t use the gifts that we’ve been given; we pay for it with our emotional and physical well-being. When we don’t use our talents to cultivate meaningful work, we struggle. We feel disconnected and weighed down by feeling of emptiness, frustration, resentment, shame, disappointment, fear, and even grief.

There it is, in a block quotation—me, before Rescue rescued me. The years of feeling directionless, of feeling purposeless in a career that felt like I was squeezing my foot into a shoe two sizes too small. The annoyance and resentment that manifested as anger, as buckets of tears because I felt stifled, like those walls were somehow crushing my insides.  The moments of disappointment in myself for playing small, for holding back to fit in with the rest of them. The days on end where I slept, masking depression.

What I was doing every day, the same stuff I was told I would be doing for 30 or so years, just didn’t feel like enough for me. I felt empty because the system does not allow me to use or grow my gifts. I felt frustrated and resentful because I was told, down to the literal shoes I was wearing, how I should best try to conform with the system and the rest of them. I was disappointed in myself for squashing the little girl with big dreams, afraid that this was it for me forever and grieving the contributions I wasn’t going to make to the world.

Tears are coming now, but they aren’t sad tears. I am no longer squandering my gifts. I’m still in the same career but I rock it differently. Don’t worry—I teach to the state standards, but I’m unafraid now to season the work heavily with texts and activities that will foster confidence and empowerment in my students. I take the time, when appropriate, to have purposeful conversations, to address their world and their experience, rather than just stay on the curriculum schedule for that prescriptive schedule’s sake. I teach people.

At school, I lead young people to find their joy. In Rescue, I work alongside incredible volunteers to protect and care for those who need it. In my wellness business, I coach people to live their healthiest, happiest, safest lives. I am no longer squandering my gifts!

I don’t just have to be a teacher and like it. I can flourish, in multiple areas. I spent so many years holding that back, playing small. Thank you, Dr. Brene’ Brown and your colleagues whom I study, for putting on paper what I’ve been feeling since I was a little Denise, walking around the house with a notebook, a pen and big dreams. Thank you for affirming in black and white that my struggles were very real and that I absolutely must cultivate my gifts. Much love.

Continue Reading
Believe Energy Healing Purpose Young Living

Why. My Young Living Story.

Why… because I can’t not.

Ooooooooo the English teacher just rocked a double negative!

Because I don’t define myself as an English teacher. I am not my job. But society will try to force you into labeling and identifying as what you do.

That never sat right with me and, for years, I wouldn’t tell people my profession. It felt like one of those Halloween masks from the early 80s, the plastic ones with the uncomfortable, thin elastic band around the back and the barely-there cutouts for breathing. They don’t make those masks anymore… for a reason.

Like those masks, the school system feels stifling to me. The prospect of working at this job for 30+ years as is, following everyone else’s way, put a literal lump in my throat and a clawing in my stomach. Try feeling like that every day. Maybe you already do…

I needed something else, something different. But I didn’t have a clue what or how.

I could resign myself to keep at what I was doing and consequently feeling how I was feeling or I could make a change. I didn’t think I could or should change my job. I decided I could and would change myself.

I remembered how much better I felt physically and mentally when I practiced yoga after graduating from college so I found a yoga studio near our house. There, I met my acupuncturist. During our sessions, she used Young Living oils. I was feeling more and more peace with every healing I experienced.

I couldn’t take those needles home but I could take those little brown bottles with the colorful labels home. I ordered a Premium Starter Kit. I enrolled in Essential Rewards the next day. I ordered a kit for my father the next day. I was all in.

The more at peace I felt, the more energy I had, the more people began to ask what changed. There was no missing and no denying that I’d shifted.

I shared about the oils and products just like I would share about a delicious new restaurant I found or a hilarious new show I stumbled across. Some friends wanted what I had. I was in business.

From this business, I’ve found community. I found people who are authentic. I can say, without hesitation, that I am happy. Happy… a simple word for a multi-faceted concept. If I, a woman who was in physical pain from emotional conditions, could feel happy, vibrant, powerful… how could I keep that from people?

I share Young Living because it led me to feeling free, free from the pressures placed on me by a system that doesn’t serve me, from pressures that I placed upon myself to be the best to have the best and to never take off the mask of achievement. Like I mentioned earlier, those stifling plastic Halloween masks have been banned and are long-forgotten. Through the community of wellness, purpose and abundance that I found in Young Living, I learned to take off my metaphorical mask and to breathe in the real me, a real space in this world to grow and flourish. Today, my mask is off and I face the world, and myself, with authentic happiness.

I want to see you with a smile on your face that rivals the one on mine right now. Believe in your happiness.

Come with us.

You are worthy.

Continue Reading
angels Believe Energy Healing Purpose

Eight Arms

Half of my back is covered with an octopus tattoo. He’s reaching up at an anchor that is donned with a crown. I had the anchor and crown done in November 2011. The octopus came to life over several sessions spanning from February to August 2018. It was only today when I realized what it means to me.

When people I ask, I just mumble something about liking octopuses. My memory flashes back to the Veruca Salt album cover for Eight Arms to Hold You, the golden octopus with the crown, and the album cover (actual vinyl album that my parents had) for Jefferson Starship’s Red Octopus, the red heart with the octopus arms… I’ve been drawn to the imagery for decades.

I got the anchor and crown done as a tribute in a way. My dad bought his first boat when I was 11. He worked so damn hard for his money and having such a luxury was a big source of pride for him—a symbol of back-breaking work and commitment. The anchor for that piece of my life and the crown for me, the princess turned queen. I got a massage shortly after that tattoo healed and the massage therapist taught me about chakras, the root and the crown, as she thought my tattoo was symbolism for that. At the time I didn’t know anything about chakras. My subconscious sure did.

Last winter, when it was time to continue the tattoo journey on my back, I told my master artist to wrap an octopus around the anchor, to go as big as he wanted. I gave some color input and left the rest up to his mastery. I thought it was just thematically correct and in line with my connection to octopuses. This morning, as I sat at my nearly-clear (finally!) desk, day four of a four day weekend, ready to take on lesson plans, rescue emails, prep for Cyber Monday in my wellness business and catch up on course work for my University of Wellness certification, I got a lump in my throat and realized: I’m trying to be the octopus… but I’m six arms short.

A sneak peek

I can do it all, but I can’t do it alone. I’ve tried to go it alone, resting on adages like, “If you want something done right, do it yourself” and expecting little to nothing from others. It’s time for me to open my two arms and welcome the support that’s around me. I’ve been cracking open, just a bit here and there, to let the help in. Today, I surrender. Universe, I’m welcoming the support with open arms.

I can have the strength of eight arms, if I’m open to the help. I’ll let the big guy on my back remind me of that. Much love.

Continue Reading
Believe Energy Healing Purpose Reiki

Radical Trust

On Saturday, I woke up without a clenched jaw for the first time in decades. Hot, right?

Grinding one’s teeth is hereditary in the B. family. I recall my mother saying my father and I would keep her up at night, he next to her and me a flight of stairs away, grinding our teeth “in stereo.” It didn’t bother me when I was younger though.

Sometime during my first year of teaching, the teeth grinding got worse. I saw my primary care doctor, a specialist and my dentist. My dentist, whom I adore, said this behavior was all stress-related, so I asked him when it would stop. He said, “When you’re not stressed anymore.” He took a mold and had a fancy night guard made custom night guard for me (sorry to be so alluring again). I wore it maybe twice. None of the three professionals I saw suggested tackling the stress, as if the only option was to stay stressed forever. With that stress came a tightness and clenching of my jaw and the possible ruination of my teeth. But this was just the way it was, so I was led to believe. We work, we live on a busy island, so we must be stressed. Some people drink. Some people hike. I clench and bear it.

7 or 8 years ago, I started wearing the night guard more consistently. Judging by how quickly I wore through one (again, really glamorizing my existence), the grind was still in full effect, even though I don’t consciously feel as stressed as I did at the beginning of my career. Some holistic treatments offer some relief but not fully. I resigned myself to thinking that I would forever have some form of this tension, clenching, sometimes sprinkled with a festive clicking.

Night guard

Just the case… I’ll spare you the actual guard.

I receive a Reiki treatment once a month from my healer. As this month’s appointment approached, my intuition told me to text her and ask to change the appointment to a hypnotherapy session. I wasn’t sure why or even what we would be working on but I went with it. The Universe has my back. Friday after work, I arrived at Lisa’s office. We talked; we got down to it. Intuition told me to talk about the jaw pain and the teeth grinding. Lisa worked her magic. Through our session, I got to another level of understanding of myself, my habits, and my paradigms. I can barely put words to it but Friday afternoon was definitely a mark on the timeline of my life.

One thing I can share with you about my discovery through this session: I finally made the connection as to why I have a hard time counting on people. In our post-session conversation, Lisa used the phrase “radical trust.” I’m pretty sure she used in it reference to a trust I need to have in myself and in the universe, but I know that the third piece to that is having radical trust in the people around me… as long as I surround myself with “right” people. It’s all coming together.

I woke up on Saturday without jaw pain and without my tongue forced to the roof of my mouth (Check in on yours and peel it free now. Relax, breathe. You’re just reading a blog). I know that the strides I made, facilitated by my healer, freed me. It’s a step, not the whole journey, but an important step nonetheless. I will not resign myself to subconscious stress, just because that’s the way most people choose to live. I have radical trust in myself, in my work… and I’m working on having radical trust in all of you, too. Much love.

Continue Reading