Believe In Bunnies

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Grand Plans

Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself.” -V. Woolf

Once a year since we’ve moved into our home, I’ve had our treasured housekeeper clean all of the windows. Feel free to cringe if once a year isn’t enough for you. Only Judy can judge me. When we transitioned to working from home in the spring I thought I’d clean the windows myself this year. Dalloway vibes… but little follow through. I’ve been home for five and a half months and I’ve cleaned five windows. 

They are regular suburban house windows, nothing ornate or oversized. I’ve spent probably less than an hour total on these five windows. Glancing around, there aren’t many windows left to clean; like I said, regular suburban house. So, why haven’t I cleaned them all? And… the five I cleaned in April… they aren’t looking so pristine anymore.

You know me by now, dear readers– this isn’t a cleaning story. There’s a lesson here. There’s always a symbol, a metaphor, a reading deeply into the basic. 

Flashback to the fall semester of my senior year in college. I remember waking up early one morning, grabbing the syllabi for each course in which I was enrolled and thinking to myself: I’m going to sit at this desk and write all of my papers today for the whole semester. Get it over with, marathon, be done, be free of looming tasks. I wrote three papers that day… but seven were left untouched. Seventeen years later, I can still recall the palpable feeling of failure. I didn’t give myself even a moment to celebrate writing three papers in a day– I only focused on what was left undone.

Back to present day… we return to school in a week. I did a lot in the five and a half months I’ve been home. A solid portion of what I accomplished was finally slowing down, taking on less, and shedding a layer of work/accomplishment addiction. Yet I sit here, feeling that familiar lump in the throat of the windows left uncleaned, like the papers left unwritten. All of the personal development I do (and teach!)… but the subconscious and the body… their programming runs deep! 

I don’t mean to conflate five wiped-down windows with three academic papers– but as different as the things are, the feelings, the habitual thinking, the paradigm is the same. And now I get to decide if I’ll beat myself up for the tasks left undone, the windows left unwashed… or if I’ll pick up the Thieves cleaner and a rag… or, even more radical, just let it be. You see, everything just is. We choose the direction, the feeling, whether positive or negative, whether roadblock or stepping stone.

This story is a parable of awareness and of growth. I promise, whatever I choose to do for the next week before Denise transitions back into Ms. B., I will not be sitting here in seventeen years from now thinking about the windows I didn’t clean in 2020. I choose. I surrender. I am enough.

Much love.  

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Believe Coaching Energy Purpose

Want & Feel

I’m going to push you today.

I was on a call with my coach on Friday and she presented us with an idea that has been swirling around my head ever since:

Are you doing what you want or are you doing what you feel like?

Follow me here… because those two things often aren’t the same, particularly if you’re not getting the results you want in your personal or professional life.

You want toned abs. You feel like lying on the couch and watching season 5 of Schitt’s Creek again. So you lie on the couch. You tear up when David and Patrick get engaged. You look down at your belly and the thoughts flood in: I’ll never have the body I want. I can’t. I won’t. I don’t. I’m so lazy. I’m so this, that, whatever. Maybe the thoughts go into outside blame: this diet/exercise program doesn’t work. I don’t have time. I don’t have help.

And so it goes.

But in reality, dear ones, the external factors are controlled by you. You chose to do what you felt like rather than take a step toward what you say you want. No judgment. Nothing “wrong” with that… just getting aware.

I’ll run another scenario for you: You want more organization in your home. You feel like you have to go to your friend’s whatever party. And you don’t feel like paying someone to help you get organized.

So you chose to spend your time at and your money on what you think you should (or shouldn’t) and, again, you don’t get what you want.

One more scenario. I’m trying to connect with all of you here.

You want a romantic relationship. You don’t feel like meeting new people. You don’t feel like “putting yourself out there.”

Another week/month/year goes by. You don’t get what you think you want because you’re choosing to do what you feel like rather than go toward what you want.

 

And I get it. A lot of the things that we want are big, scary, out of our comfort zones, require us to stretch and change… so we sit in the pocket of what we feel like rather than aligning what we feel and what we want to achieve.

A lot of these things that we want require or simply come to us with more ease if we ask for or pay for help, but we feel like we shouldn’t be vulnerable or shouldn’t spend our money this way.

I said I was going to push you today, so here it goes. Today, just get aware of what you want, what you feel and what you’re doing. You don’t have to make a change, unless you’re called to do so. Just examine it today.

I suspect there are some really bright light bulbs going off for you.

If you’ve gained any awareness today, email me: believeinbunnies@gmail.com

I’d love to hear your stories!

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Believe Bunnies Energy Healing Purpose Rescue

Why I Stopped Eating Meat…

and why I’ll never bug you to do the same.

You know those memories that are like movies in your head? This is one for me.

I was standing at the counter of the kitchen/living room/bunny room combo in our first house, sometimes referred to as The Little House. I was cutting a packaged chicken breast and I stopped. I looked over my right shoulder at our boy Tater Tot, our first born. The thought flashed through my mind: Why am I spending all of my free time saving one and now I’m slicing and eating another?

Taking meat out of my diet never, I mean never, occurred to me. Paradigm, our mental programming, has meat as a part of our diets. That’s just what we eat, right? I never thought about it beyond flavor and enjoyment before. It never had a face before.

At the time, I was volunteering for maybe a year or two with the Long Island Rabbit Rescue Group. At this point, I was spending 7 or more hours per week volunteering, between answering emails and phone calls, covering shifts at foster homes and other various tasks. In addition to working full-time, 7 hours is a big chunk of “free time”—that’s more time than I was watching shows on Bravo in a week! So, there I was at the counter, one hand on the chicken breast, one hand on the knife, one heart and one mind at a turning point.

From that day, I gradually removed animal products from my diet. First went the white meat, anything remotely resembling the little loves we rescue. Then, everything else started to go. I just didn’t want it anymore—just didn’t make sense for me anymore. I could no longer make a value distinction between a dog and a cow, between a rabbit and a chicken, between a cat and a pig. I value them all the same now.

And that’s just the thing. I value them… my values. And my values do not have to be yours. I will never bug you to eat the way I do. I would have never made this change and definitely would not have stuck with it so faithfully if I didn’t have a meaningful reason, a true “why” behind it all. Please, do what feels right for you. Eat foods and make choices that take you to the best version of you, that make you feel happy and energized. If you are eating something that causes you physical pain afterward, it might be time to put that down and make a different choice. And that applies to what it is and to quantity!

Making the change to a plant-based diet was far less difficult than the paradigm will have you believe. And I’m happy I made my transition before this influx of processed “vegan junk food” hitting the mainstream shelves now. Delicious, sure… but not necessarily nutritious. My label-reading-ninja skills come into play with food as much as they do with personal care and household products.

Living my life my way… and always respecting your choice to live your life your way. That’s really all it is. That’s simply why I’ll never bug you to stop eating meat, to foster an animal, to do anything that you’re not necessarily interested in doing. Trust, I am nothing but delighted when I hear that someone is making a choice that honors the life of a living thing, but I know darn well that if anyone tried to force this way of eating and thinking on to me, it would have been repulsive. To paraphrase my coach Melissa, people don’t dislike change but people do not like to be changed. And to quote the guru James Hetfield, “Life is ours… we live it our way.”

Much love.

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Believe Purpose Rescue Uncategorized

Feel and Focus

On Friday evening, I sat amongst a diverse yet like-minded group at Yoga Journal Live to hear Gabby Bernstein’s talk entitled True Power.  When I explain who Gabby Bernstein is to people, I call her the Marianne Williamson of the younger set.  If none of this is resonating with you, stop reading this and go turn on Super Soul Sunday on OWN or make a quick trip to the library or to smile.amazon.com, pick Long Island Rabbit Rescue as your charity of choice, then treat yourself to some powerful nonfiction by either of the aforementioned ladies.

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Ms. Bernstein sharing her True Power

As in my nature, I took a lot of notes during Gabby’s talk (Metatron is my guide and he’s known as God’s scribe so it all comes naturally to me).  As I review my scribbled pages, the phrase “You can dictate what you feel based on what you focus on” is shining at me this morning.  You hear a lot of the same refrain from acquaintances, colleagues, and family members about being so busy, too busy, overwhelmed and overbooked.  But it’s all about choice and focus for me.

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Always prepared to take good notes

I work a traditional Monday to Friday job, I coordinate a non-profit organization (that logs far more hours than my “job” does) and I have responsibilities and appointments, social and non, that filter through the days as well.  At the day job, I can certainly feel busy, stressed, uncomfortable, drowning, fighting a losing battle at the most extreme of times.  Now shift the focus, make the choice…  Yesterday was a typical Saturday for me, as I handled a steady stream of Rescue emails, managed the group’s social media accounts (except Instagram, that one I’ve thankfully delegated out to the squad), handled phone calls and texts from volunteers who themselves are managing some complex rescue cases, completed two outstanding home visits for potential adopters, had lunch with a treasured friend, did three loads of laundry, food shopped… but guess what, loves?  I felt completely alive, blessed and happy through it all.  Not for a second did I choose to feel busy, stressed, or overbooked.

This is not a brag-post.  This is a message that you can do it all, have it all and be it all if you “embrace the light” as Gabby reminded the 700+ attendees at her talk on Friday.  As soon as I embraced my life’s purpose, the moment I found my truth, I left behind those crazed feelings of drowning through all the things I had to do.  I can now have a packed day of smiles and movement.  I shifted from my former refrain of “I have so much to do” to my divine inner monologue of “I feel completely alive and on my mission.”

Gabby told us to “reach for what we believe in right now.”  I believe that my work in rescue has saved my life as well as helped to save countless animal lives.  I believe that every cell in my body vibrates and functions at its full and glowing potential when I’m doing my rescue and Reiki work.  I feel the best I’ve ever felt because I’ve chosen to focus on what drives me instead of focusing on what society/family/whoever told me I should focus on.  I’ve magnified my purpose.  I choose what feels right and so much more of what is right has flowed my way.

Busy, lazy, productive, slow… these are all perceptions.  Perceive, feel, focus and be whatever you truly want.  Let that authentic purpose come to you.  Your truth is gorgeous, just like you.

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