In this oversharing climate, it’s pretty jarring when someone is legitimately keeping something private—not even “Vague-booking” about what’s going on. (Vague-booking is a term one of my colleagues either coined or stole, to explain those clandestine social media posts that feign privacy when they really just intend to incite a clamoring of concern.) So to find out that someone is actually keeping a secret, actually keeping something to herself is one part refreshing and one part scary. Then, when you find out what the secret is, the parts converge… and sometimes it’s all scary.
In my quest to spend less time checking social media, I’m down with the concept of sharing less. I was raised in a private family and, although I’m more open with my business than my parents are with theirs (a hallmark of my generation for sure), I don’t think of myself as an oversharer. But that’s definitely a matter of perspective. Maybe I’m moderate when it comes to sharing. But I’m definitely an over-checker.
Enough about me. Gone are the days (or decades) when you didn’t hear from or about someone for a period of time and that was just normal. If there’s no evidence of your existence, a Snapchat, a “Jennifer reacted to…” or something of that nature for even a few hours, some consider that a cause for alarm. When you don’t hear from someone for weeks, maybe you don’t notice. Maybe you invent stories, modest or grandiose, about their whereabouts. Maybe you take inventory of yourself (What did I say or do to cause this disconnect?)… but don’t be selfish. It’s probably not about you.
Call me vague now (I’ve been called worse by better) but I’m not getting into further detail—though I’ll give you the lessons.
- Reach out. Reach out often. Don’t be afraid to send the first (or fifth) text.
- Trust your gut. If you feel like something is up, it is.
- Let people be there for you! You know who the true and pure ones are. Open up to them. We aren’t meant to hop this entire journey alone… especially not in the most difficult times.
For those of you keeping me accountable, my desk is cleaner than it was last week! Small victories.
My intention for this week, very much inspired by the lessons above: Reach out and connect. In real life. A “like” just isn’t enough sometimes.