You would think that the little girl from the picture-perfect family would want to be a grown-up married woman. Marriage has never been a dream of mine, in the official sense. Yes, loyal readers, you know there’s a Bunny-Daddy and it’s a solid union… we just aren’t the paperwork type. That said, I attribute much of who I am and what I do to what I’ve learned from my parents’ marriage.
Tomorrow, my parents celebrate 41 years married. They “tied the knot” on my father’s 22nd birthday. 43 years together, 41 years married… they are the best of friends. I consider them my greatest teachers, as individuals and as a union.
The biggest lesson I take from my parents’ partnership is one of independence and support. To my knowledge, one has never stopped the other from doing something or going somewhere or buying something. They enrich each other. They have each other’s back, always. I’m sure they’ve made sacrifices for each other and there have undoubtedly been compromises over the span of four decades.
Even in moments of discontent, there is always kindness and respect. I have never heard one call the other an unkind name. This is no “Brady Bunch” moment; it’s just what they’ve shown me is love. It’s the standard I learned to set for myself from watching and absorbing their example. I do acknowledge that I lack my mother’s patience and fairness, but she’s a Libra and the oldest of four children; I’m an Aries and an only child!
Last week, they came over to hang some art and a bulletin board in the room in which I sit as I write this to you. To watch them work together is kind of magical. They are a true team. They just make sense together. Like the kids say, they are relationship goals. Four decades and they still enjoy each other’s company. Four decades and they laugh more together than any other couple I know.
My mother will tell you that it takes work every single day. If you stop working, it’s over. If you ever have the honor to witness just how truly happy they are, how each other’s company truly uplifts them, I can tell you that the work has been worth it for them. The respect they have for themselves and for each other is what I attribute my independence to. I know that, with or without a partner, I am capable of absolutely anything. While they’ve had each other since they were practically children, my mother 2 months shy of 20 when they married, they are two individuals who make a pair, not two halves that create whole.
They lift each other up. They are a force when they’re together. Happy 41st Anniversary, Mom and Dad.