Consistency

My mom doesn’t like mushrooms or peanut butter because she doesn’t like the consistency of either.

Consistency has been my word of the moment in business but when you think about it, it really the crux of all of our work and practices.  What you attend to grows.  If you do squats every day, even just a few, your booty will look “better” (such a subjective topic, but you get it).  If you meditate daily, your mind, like any other muscle, will train into its fittest form.  Like a seed blossoming into a plant, flower or tree takes consistent sunlight, water, oxygen and time, our own blossoming takes consistency to cultivate lasting benefits.

The flip side is tricky.  You can do something “bad,” step out of line once and suffer negative consequences.  Or you can step out on yourself, on your health, on your job, your family, whatever, once and be just fine.  You can do “bad” consistently… the laws of our universe say it will catch up with you.  Karma… do dirt, get dirt… Darn this stuff is tricky. Because it might not even catch up with you.

But I can guarantee the “good” work done with consistency will.  It just takes time.  But, hey, we are here anyway!  Some fellow rescuers get frustrated at the number of abandoned rabbits on Long Island or at the number of negligent stores selling rabbits with no more care than the way one might sell a bottle of soda, but if we continue our mission with consistency, it will absolutely work.  If we truly believe in the work we are doing and we do the work with passion and consistency, we will make a positive, lasting impact.  We are already and we continue to do so every day.

You may get disheartened, discourage or even dismantled at times… but when your goals are real, when you believe in your effort, when you find your purpose and act on it with consistency, you will reach the most beautiful moments.

 

Special love and light to Alexa, one of my darling bunny clients, who is battling head tilt.  Keep fighting Alexa. Much love.

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Missing Piece

I am no longer allowing this missing piece translate to missing peace.  I am telling a new story.  You are the first to hear about it.  Grateful to you for “listening” today.

I’ve been holding back from truly stepping into a component of this work and of my personal development because there is a piece to my story that I’m not ready or maybe not willing to tell.  I struggle with the idea of telling my story without telling that story.  Can I be authentic and leave out a big piece?  My answer to that was no.  I’ve held back so much because I didn’t think I could share my light fully without sharing that piece.  And I do not want to share that piece.  I’m not going to share that piece.  There’s no secret link embedded here.  I’m not going to do a big reveal at the end of this entry.  These types of thoughts and the struggle arriving here has robbed me of some peace and have stunted my healing.  Thus, I’ve felt stunted in sharing healing.  It’s cyclical.

As I sat down to write to you today (or do I write this to me and you just peek over my shoulder?) I opened to a page in my notes from the Spirit Junkie Master Class that I attended last June.  On that pink page I wrote, “Be not afraid— be empowered.”  Gabrielle taught us how our inner guides are begging use to release our resistance.  I’m sure hearing that six months ago, I interpreted that as a call to reveal my missing piece.  Now, I see it as permission to release the expectation of telling it all, the expectation of being as transparent as many others seem to be.  Gabrielle taught us to step into the darkness so we can dive into the light.  I am.  I am finding my peace privately.  I can do that and still share healing publicly.  Today I give myself that permission.

Gabrielle imparted on us, her Spirit Junkie disciples, that we look at our stories from a place of power.  My missing piece deals a lot with shame and guilt.  I will find the power.  You all help to lift me up.  Forever grateful.  Big stuff coming… Much love.

I Changed

Excuse my absence last week.  My baby boy died.  I miss him.  In his honor, I am committed to my practices, to being more present, to showing up for myself and self-care even more than before.  A few years ago, I quit smoking because of him and his brother.  I caught myself resentful of every moment I spent outside, doing something that, at its best, was making me feel marginally better but more often feel icky.  I wanted those moments inside with our boys.

I stopped eating animal products because of our boys and the rescue work that I do.  I remember finding a sliver of open counter space in the kitchen of our tiny house (which we moved out of one year ago today!) and preparing some meal involving chicken.  As I cut into the cutlet, I turned around and looked at Tater Tot and it was like a switch flipped—how was I spending all of my “free time” saving one kind of animal, then eating their cousins?  I’m NOT saying everyone or anyone should stop eating meat.  It just didn’t make sense to me.  I’ve been pegged as having a rigid sense of ethics.  So I stopped that day, first leaving chicken and the like and eventually all animal products.  For them. And I’ve never felt better, physically and spiritually.

When I sat down to write to you today, I readied my notes from my Spirit Junkie Master Class, as I share some gems with you every few weeks since I graduated from that course.  I thought that’s what I would write about today, but as it sometimes does, the words took a path of their own.  But I will share with you this.  At the top of the page from the morning of 6/3/17, as I sat in the SVA auditorium awaiting my teacher to take the stage, I wrote, “Be still and know that I am here now.  Nothing else matters.  I feel perfect in this moment.”

Take that sentiment with you today.  Much love.

Binky free, Tater Tot.  Good night, sweet prince.  Mommy loves you

So Simple

I bet she didn’t realize, when she sent this simple text this morning, that C. would have such a profound effect on my day.  It’s been Crazy Town, as I affectionately call it, here at headquarters for the last two weeks.  Then, the impending storm gave me the world’s most epic migraine last night as I was in the midst of coordinating our incredible Rescue team who saved 5 abandoned rabbits in the dark.  The migraine came as a warning sign of the serious storm we are experiencing today.  I oiled up and suffered through the worst of it while my text alerts kept going off… one rabbit, two, three, four… please let that be it… five rabbits brought to safety.  In awe of our team, I celebrated the best I could while not being able to move my head.  I used to get weather-related migraines often as a child.  I didn’t enjoy reliving that last night.

I slept a little late today and woke up to a wave of anxiety: day job tasks to complete, sorting out the aftermath of last night’s huge catch, an event I committed to attending, laundry, breathing.

I texted C.  I started to rattle off the “stuff” like I just did for you.  She wrote back simply, “Just do what you can.”

Maybe it’s sad or silly, but it never occurred to me that I could do less than everything.  So every time today when the overwhelming feelings started to wash over me, I grabbed my Stress Away, breathed deeply and repeated “Just do what you can” until I felt back in control.  And I did get a decent amount of “stuff” done today.  The rest will be waiting for me tomorrow.

Thank you C.  You are the greatest gift.  You are the truth.

To donate toward the medical care of the 5 rabbits rescued last night, visit Long Island Rabbit Rescue and click “Donate” on the right.  Much love.

Retreat Yourself

In late June 2014, I wrote a note in my phone of three simple “I am” statements to set the tone for my summer.  Pushing aside the millions of things to get done and ways to make two months off from the day job count, I set these “I am” statements at the core of my desires for that time.  At the heart of all of the “stuff” I had to do and wanted to do that summer, my true intentions were in these “I am” statements.  I typed:

I am

-reading.

-practicing yoga.

-mindful.

I didn’t even know what mindful meant or why I typed it— it just appeared there on the screen.  I am mindful… ok.  Let that sit.

I found a yoga studio near to where we were living.  I signed up for a month unlimited and then another month unlimited.  I took classes 3-5 times per week for the entire summer.  I am practicing yoga…  finally.  For months before that, I was thinking about it.  And I was telling myself that I “should” be practicing yoga.  But I never seemed to quite get around to it.  I let everything else jump the line and take up my precious time.  All it took was setting that clear intention: I am practicing yoga.  Like magic, I was.

I found two teachers whose style and energy matched what I was seeking in my practice and made darn sure to show up at their classes.  I dove all in, as I’m prone to do.  One of those teachers offered free guided meditation after classes, as the schedule allowed.  I stayed.  She shared about her practices, her studies through UMass. Medical School in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and her “real life” applications of these simple-yet-complex practices.  She had something here.  I hung on every word.

A friendship blossomed.  At the time, I hadn’t consciously revisited my note in my phone with my summer intentions, my “I am” statements.  But I was learning about mindfulness, that word I typed without knowing why.  My new mediation coach and friend recommended books that she was reading.  We started to hang out.  We shared this glorious spark of brilliance.  I knew I found a soul sister in Debbie.  Toward the end of August 2014, while rolling up my yoga mat after one of Debbie’s last yoga classes for the summer, I opened the notes in my phone… and there it was: I am mindful.  I manifested a practice, a coach and a friend with three words.  Don’t question the process.  Be open to being guided.  Set the intentions that are in your heart and take the action steps as they unfold.

This past Thursday, I had the honor of sitting at a full-day retreat of over 100 educators led by my soul sister Debbie and her colleague in mindfulness Cory.  They led us through the practices and applications of this life-saving, life-expanding gift called Mindfulness.  They are the real-deal.  I, who often cannot exhale without checking my phone 17 times, did not even check the time from 7:30 am until 4:35 pm.  That’s the magic that Debbie and Cory shared.

We learned about our relationship to stress, how to be with what is here, how to develop our mental fitness… I could go on and on.  I took 17 pages of notes.  But, if I can share only one take-away with you, it is this: replace resistance with curiosity.  Approach your day with an element of awe and wonder.

Debbie, I bow to you.  I am mindful.

Yes

For those who’ve been following the tale: I didn’t finish the book before book club, but the 200 pages I read were more enjoyable than I thought they were going to be.

Just another lesson in being open, in saying “Yes!” to what presents itself.  I never would have picked up that particular book, but a beautiful friend presented it as our first selection for our new book club.  Beyond the emotional journey of reading it (if you really know me, you know I’d love nothing more than to stay home all day, every day and read), flicking through those pages allowed me to connect with some sweet and smart women on Friday evening.  Two of my bunny family, plus multi-generational representation from one of their families, great conversation, connection—much more spiritually fulfilling than my typical Friday night falling asleep on the couch while watching vintage seasons of RHONY.

I’ve been saying yes more these past few weeks.  It’s one of my “challenges.”  Some people do squat challenges or cut out sugar for 30 days type challenges; I give myself personal growth challenges.  Saying yes and being more flexible is the theme of this current phase in my personal growth and development.  I’m stretching myself to change or make plans last minute, to break one of my Cardinal Rules and leave the house on Sunday (only for VERY good reasons, should they arise) and to stay up past 8:30pm on a work night (again, the good reason rule comes into play).

I broke the bedtime rule last Thursday and spent the evening in Manhattan with four gorgeous friends and my mentor Gabrielle Bernstein.  I’m breaking the bedtime rule this coming Tuesday to see Marilyn Manson.  Yes, you can be a Spirit Junkie and enjoy some dark music—it’s all about balance, my loves.  These rules, and the bending of them, may seem trivial to the less wound and regulated but to me, these are some huge shifts!

Yes, I have a lot of rules for myself.  I’m super-structured, regimented to an extreme at times.  I attribute my success to my discipline and my grit.  As strange as it may sound, I’m disciplining myself to be a little less disciplined.  But fear not, I’ll still be here every Sunday (or thereabouts) with you.  Much love.