Vows

They say it’s hard to make friends in your 30s.  I say they’re not looking in the right places.

Yesterday afternoon, I sat on a remarkably comfortable blue couch and an incredible friend that I made in my 30s sat on the matching loveseat to my right.  She’s getting married in July.  If you know me, you know that I’m not a marriage/traditions kind of person for myself, but I get it.  I’m along for the party.

After her fiancé came back from 7-11 (thanks for the seltzer!), at some point, the topic of wedding vows came up.  Spoiler alert:  They are not writing their own.  Intuitive secret alert: I think my friend wants to write her own.  But I’m not one to meddle…

I joked that I would write them some vows.  I joked that I would include specific video game playing and watching etiquette in said vows.  Jokes aside (are jokes ever aside for me?), I’m laying down some vows for love in general here.  Feel free to use them but always give me credit.  Plagiarism causes wrinkles.

…to be weird, silly or sad as the moment strikes and to feel supported in each striking moment.

…to recognize that it’s damn near impossible to get everything from one person.  There are over 7 billion people on the planet and probably billions more with us in spirit.  It’s ok to connect with others (see next vow).

…to communicate openly, clearly and reasonably about connecting with others.  Straight talk makes for straight understanding.  The trust is in the communication and the action.

…to balance needs, to support desires, to hold space for the dreams, goals, and projects of the other, even if said needs, goals, etc. seem weird.  As long as no one is harmed in the process, let him/her shine.

…to find strength in each other, to be even better together without abandoning everything you are as an individual, if that’s something you value (not that you asked me, but you should value yourself as an individual).

…to honor that growth, change and evolution are likely and should be celebrated.

 

This vow stuff is easier than I thought— perhaps because I have clearly-defined views on my sense of self and myself in a relationship.  Bunny-daddy and I just celebrated our 8th Valentine’s Day.  Our relationship certainly isn’t for everyone.  But it’s for me.  I’ve changed a lot over the course of 8 Valentine’s Day.  I feel 100% supported in each change… and that’s a vow I treasure.

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On Loss, from a Special Guest

This week, I bring you a special treat!  This post was written by my dear friend, talented crystal healer and artist Dina, the MetaphysicalMom.  She recently lost two of her furry children and was generous with her time and with her soul to share with us today.

I’ve made the joke many times that our house was an assisted living facility for senior citizen animals; two fifteen- year old chihuahuas and one nineteen year old cat are certainly no spring chickens. Even though you know the life expectancy of an animal- it isn’t easy watching them age, watching their personalities change, and watching them slow down.

The past month has been ridiculously hard for our family- we lost one of the chihuahuas and the cat. Where once we had a robust home (feeding time was always a laugh) now there’s only one set of paws underfoot.

How to cope with the lost of a pet (or any other cherished loved one)? How do we go on without their love? In many cases, we even have to live with some guilt and shame. Did we pay enough attention? Did we show them enough love? If only we had another day.. another hour.. another chance for a hug or kiss.

It’s too easy to stay in that place of guilt, of shame, and of heartbreak. So, how can we transition through the stages of grief and what tools can we use to cope?

Emotions are absolutely necessary and important to feel. First- we must grieve and feel it all. The good memories, the bad ones, the shame, the guilt; whatever comes up. We don’t want any of these feelings to be stuffed into our body. Use must feel them, discuss them with a friend. We must go through them even when the natural reaction is to run away from them.

When we don’t resolve or give closure to an event in our life- like the loss of a loved one- we continue to hold onto the energies generated by the emotional response to it. These energies may stay stagnant- but they eventually will resurface. So, the best course of action is to feel and process immediately, no matter how painful.

Thankfully we have resources to turn to: meditation, exercise, crystals and essential oils. All of these can help move emotion through our bodies and aid their processing.

My favorite healing modality is crystals; wear them in jewelry, carry them in a pouch, or hold them in meditation. Allow them to open up those parts of you that are holding onto, and not fully processing, emotions.

Some recommendations for grief, shame, and heartbreak are:

Obsidian- a powerful emotional teacher. It allows one to understand shame and our shadow self- allowing it to evolve and be illuminated.

Danburite- soothes the heart and sends the message that all is well; it brings forth the frequency of comfort and angelic rescue.

Rainbow Moonstone- this beautiful stone aids in clearing the emotional body and eases emotional trauma and grief.

Pink Tourmaline- assists in releasing stress, worries, depression, and anxiety. It helps those that are “emotionally numb” recover their passion and zest for life.

Remember to not judge yourself. When processing loss and experiencing trauma we must lean into our feelings and not judge ourselves. Be kind and patient to yourself and those going through the grieving process.

Dina, you are a true treasure.  Thank you for sharing your story and knowledge with the Believe in Bunnies world.  Love you.

You can connect with Dina and her wonderful healing work at CrystaliciousNYC.

You… Squared.

My mentor in the essential oils and wellness world shares often from a little book called You2 by Price Pritchett.   When she first started sharing this book, I listened to the message but tuned out the idea of getting the book myself—I have 100s of books on the shelves downstairs waiting to be cradled in my hands and have their pages turned.  I wasn’t looking for another book.

Then, my mentor had an event in early January.  At that event, several speakers shared powerful messages about personal development (my passion, along with saving the bunnies!) and business development.  Through their messages, all signs pointed toward me ordering You2 for myself.  The next morning, I did.

My copy of the book sat on our dining room table for a while… but I swear it started working its magic before I even flipped open to the first vignette.  The book is about taking and making quantum leaps.  It’s about dropping the routine of playing small and not just going big with our dreams, goals and accomplishments but going HUGE.

Our rabbit rescue group typically completes 2-4 adoptions per month.  4 in one month has me dancing through my hay-strewn living room.  In January, our team completed 10 adoptions.  10. Unheard of.

I looked down at that silver-covered book on my table and thought: Okay, you’ve shown me what you can do just by being here.  It’s time to see what you can do when I put you to work!

I started studying You2  that day.  At the bottom of page one, I wrote, “Slow & steady is not necessary! Rescue had a leap in January 2018 to show me the possibilities!”

I feel it.  I know it.  I believe it.

See you at the top.  Much love.