It’s been a Year.
This isn’t about rabbits or Reiki.
A year ago, we said goodbye—well, sort of. I said I would see you later that week. I said we would talk more then (and I silently promised to turn my damn phone off at our next visit—no pointless distractions). I walked out of your front door, it was a Saturday, fully intending to be back maybe on Wednesday, silently promising myself that I would not let the week go by without making time for a visit. Just like this year, last August was zooming by. About an hour after I left, you died.
I wonder a lot. You know my brain is always going, barreling perhaps. We only knew each other for a touch over two years. Why was I the second-to-last person to see you in your earthly form? Do you know how much you changed my life in a span of two years? Can you fathom just how much you taught me?
If you didn’t leave this dimension when you did, would we still be friends? Or would I have said something, done something, been something that you didn’t want to be around? Would we be on the phone right now on this super-cloudy day? Or would I be sitting here, telling myself that I better make time for you before my long vacation ends?
Ours is one of those friendships that didn’t seem likely but just makes so much darn sense. 16 years apart in age, vastly different families and upbringings. You, tiny in stature, secure in purpose. Me, average in size, barreling toward my purpose—you helped me find it. It’s all your fault, that I’m finally living my dreams.
We bought the house I told you about, but you know that already. We live so close to you now. We actually have space to have people come inside the house! I’m getting better every day. You helped guide me on this path. I hear your voice in my head. I see you in yoga classes still—remember the lady whose pants were inside-out?! I love how the same things annoyed us.
You were supposed to teach me to sew. But let’s be serious, I wouldn’t do my own sewing anyway. Did I teach you anything? Is there anything you didn’t get to tell me? Well, besides the messages that you are flooding me with now… shout out to my Spirit Junkies and other spiritual running buddies who have helped me further develop my gifts over the past year. I “hear” so clearly now.
Your babies are doing great. MM clipped their nails on Saturday. Your garden is gorgeous. Your world misses you. You are screaming in my left ear right now—I hear you, love!! I will keep living the dream for us both.