2016 has been cleaning house (in the metaphorical sense. Literally, however, my house is a mess and my desk is back to its disastrous state). We (the collective We) lost Bowie, Prince, Chyna, Eli Weisel (potential the first time they’ve been listed in sequence anywhere)… I’m so parenthetical today. We (the rabbit We) have lost far too many fur-babies, celebunnies and local loves, most recently Sylvia, beloved diva-bun and one of my first Reiki clients.
So here I am, contemplating what is really important, in my classic Type-A ways, organizing what matters and what doesn’t into definitive categories in my overly-active brain. I keep telling myself that social media and the phone, other than for calls and texts, don’t matter… but then I continue to check them constantly (unless I lock the phone away in a drawer. Seriously). So it must matter. It must be important to some seeking part of my existence, checking for updates, change, news or something. Searching for something, I guess. Every minute I spend with the screen I think I should be doing something else, usually something simple like snuggling the boys, but definitely something else. Important or not, I think about it like this: if this were my last moment, my last breath, I doubt I’d think or say, “I wish I checked Instagram one more time.” So it’s time to get focused.
And why all this searching for substance? I can’t seem to let myself be. Be present. Be here now. Just be. My meditation coach and dear friend Debbie says, “Start where you are.” And that’s a powerful message for me in this moment. There’s no use beating myself up for checking Facebook 74 times today. There’s no good to come out of wishing I visited Sylvia more often. There is power is remembering the magical visits we did have though. And there’s even more purposeful power in:
- Doing what’s important to you (not by someone else’s definition, definitely not by society’s definition).
- Allowing yourself to change which things/people/ideas/etc. are important to you as often as you need to.
- Being as present as you can be, but not beating yourself up when you drift, or worry or obsesses. Just come back to now.
So what’s important? What’s important is whatever you want it to be, in that moment. It can change, flex, bounce back, reshape, flip, disappear, whatever. For me, today, in this moment, it’s family. I spent the afternoon with the extended family, the Originals as we call ourselves, two of my very best friends, celebrating family. I’m spending the rest of the day and night with boys and their father. I’ll try to stay off the phone. I’ll read my book (loving Tyler’s The Accidental Tourist.). And no matter what, what’s important is my inner peace, so I can, in turn, spread that peace around.